Why put crap in water?

Yes, I drink bottled water. I know, Evian spelled backwards is "naive," but the water fountains at the office are the suck.

And let's be honest, while the caffeine in Coca-Cola is a big thumbs-up, the sugar ain't so good for the Monkey Waistline Tracker, if you know what I mean.

(I don't do diet soda. For one thing, artificial sweeteners taste awful. For another thing, they do funky things to my stomach. Not quite what they do to some people, but unpleasant nonetheless.)

Anyway, that leaves me with coffee and water as my beverages of choice at work.

The other day, though, the awesome robotic vending machine ran out of good old-fashioned water.

And I was stuck with "lemon water" (see above).

Let's make something clear: I don't particularly care for lemon in my water. Conveniently, Marisa loves lemon in her water, so at most restaurants, I can just take my little lemon wedge out and drop it in her glass.

(Oddly enough, I like lemonade.)

But it's one thing to have a bit of lemon juice in one's water, diffusing.

It's another to have lemon-flavored water.

And let me tell you, it tasted awful.

Do people find plain old refreshing water that bad we need to add crap to it to give it taste? It's water, for crying out loud. It's not supposed to taste like anything!

Want to bet the idiots who oppose putting fluoride in water probably don't hesitate to drink this garbage, either?

Either way, it's the last time I stare into the vending machine and say, "Eh, it's just lemon. How bad can it be?"

Blecch.