Monday, December 17, 2007

One more reason we need a video camera

No, this isn't a sex post, you perverts.

This is a post about how I could've been a YouTube star.

Maybe you read about the store clerk who decked a robber so he wouldn't look bad on YouTube.

"What was going through my mind at that point was that the security tape is either going to show me run away and hide in the office or whack this guy in the head, so I just grabbed the cup and clocked the guy pretty hard," Hoffmann (said).

Well, today I had my own missed opportunity.

No, we weren't robbed. But we did have 50 mph winds overnight.

And it was garbage night.

Needless to say, our trash cans ended up in the neighbor's yard. Downhill. On a sheet of ice thanks to this week's snow and the weekend Nor'easter.

And if only we had a video camera, I coulda been a star!

Sliding down the ice on my butt was the fun part.

The dog sliding down after me, taking my feet out from under me, probably would've gotten a laugh.

But I think what really would've done the "viral" trick was on the way back up, when my legs went back downhill, the trash can I was pushing uphill stayed uphill and...


Instant faceplant.

I smacked my forehead nice and hard, and my glasses cut my nose a little.

But I'm OK.

Which is why I promptly tried again, and slid even farther down the hill on my butt.

Eventually, I made it with the can, all the way to our side yard, where I could climb the tree-covered, shelfed hill, and then slide down our ice-covered driveway (shoulda used the damn snow-blower when I had the chance) to Marisa, who was waiting in the garage.

Of course, there were four more cans.

So, after a brief recovery period, I approached again, on my butt, on the ice, with a battle plan.

Using a shovel like mountain climbers use those ice axes, I dug and stepped my way up the ice to M, handing off the cans two at a time.

There was, of course, much sliding in the process.

But no more faceplants.

And sadly, no video camera.

So if you want to see me in action, you'll have to buy "Dead Hunt" - I'm on the special features.