Thursday, August 31, 2006

To quote "Clash of the Titans"...

It is done. Acrisius of Argos has condemned his daughter, Danae, to the sea.

OK, maybe not.

But what IS done is that I have finished labeling all the posts for my blog.

All 234 of them. It took hours.

But don't say I don't do anything for my readers. Or my OCD.

There were 24 topics, in the end, presumably sortable. And probably not nearly as consistent as they should be.

It was fun reading all my old posts, though. Except the one about Morgan dying. That was sad.

Anyway, labels. Enjoy.

Hopefully now I can resume my usual random posting (yes, "random" is one of the labels) and cease all this "Whaaaa! HTML! Beta is hard!" whimpering.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


Well, I labeled all the posts since Aug. 1.

That'll do for now.

I intend to label the ones from here out, and I may go back eventually and do more, depending on when my OCD kicks in.

So far, still so good.

Well, I did it...

I upgraded my template.

It looks a little different, but everything's there that was before (except stuff I didn't want anymore).


The basic changes:

1. The counter is on the right, in the sidebar. Looked better.
2. The ad experiment is at the bottom. It was the only way I could get it back.
3. I deleted the "my lousy taste in music" section because I haven't been using my iPod in the car lately due to a lack of an adaptor.
4. I seem to have lost the little Blogger button on the blog itself. Not my fault!

Otherwise, it's all there. I think.


Oh, and now I can do labels. Excellent! I may or may not go back and retroactively add them to old posts. That seems like quite a chore.

(Yeah, I figure there may be some bumps in the road. It's a Beta, after all. Bear with me. Or with Blogger, really.)

Monday, August 28, 2006

Scared HTML Munkee...

OK, there's one last step I can take with the blog, and that's to convert to Blogger Beta's new layout scheme.

But it changes all the HTML stuff I've tried so hard (right up until just about now) to make just right, and it turns it into a WYSIWYG-type click-and-click thing.

That would be fine, even better than fine since I'm faking it on the HTML, except...

I could lose my whole template-y thing with all the links and boxes and so forth.

I want to try it, but I'm scared. What if I lose all my HTML? You know, like the little Sloganizer and Scrobbler boxes at the bottom. I put them in through HTML and I don't know how I could do it in this new layout thing.

When you go to the layout thing (the RRP has the new version), there's a button for HTML editing, but it's not ready yet.

What do I do?


Sunday, August 27, 2006

Movin' on up!

OK, now we're cooking with gas, as far as upgrading goes...

Please note my new, improved sidebars at right.

The link to my "unofficial" home page is gone, as this blog is now my "unofficial" home page.

(My unofficial LotR page - that's "Life on the Rim," not "Lord of the Rings" - now is just a redirect link.)

My official home page, of course, is DonkeyHat, which I share with the inimitable Stewie.

In addition, I added a link to my MySpace page, where all of you can go and be my friends. Only 2.3 billion more until I catch up to the infamous Tila Tequila!

And for the Raiders fans out there, I've added a link to my new Blogger-based Raiders Research Project page, which was formerly based off my unofficial site. Why struggle through the ultra-basic HTML when I can let Blogger do the homepage work for me?

Of course, those files remain on my own Web space and subject to my own HTML struggles.

Still, it's all one more great big step toward Internet unity in my life, and one giant leap toward, well, Internet unity in my life.

Thanks for bearing with me.

Please feel free to comment and inform me of any screwups I might have made.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Technical spiffy-culties!

Oh, and one more thing I should mention:

I upgraded to "Blogger Beta" today, so there may be some technical issues. Do let me know if anything seems funky.

Not that I'll be able to figure it out. But it'll be nice to know about.

I'm probably going to try to complete the upgrade by changing my template at some point, but I loathe the idea of losing the various sidebars I've so carefully managed to insert into the HTML of the page.

Hopefully this will be a good thing for the blog, and thus for you, my readers.

If not, well, it's all just a grand experiment anyway. Sometimes you get penicillin, sometimes you just get mold.

Dollars and 'Sense

I signed up for AdSense.

Thus the public service announcement atop the blog.

When I'm "approved," they'll change it to ads targeted at you, my readers.

All six or seven or 10 of you.

I know, it seems I've finally sold out to The Man, but really, I just wanted to see what would happen. So click if you want. Don't if you don't. I think I might get paid if you click. But I didn't read the rules that closely.

Here's how I'm thinking it'll work. You'll log in, and it'll show you an ad targeted right at you. Except, my demographics are all over the place. I've got IT people, pastry people, public service people, movie people, journalism people, a couple of college students... and my mother.

But as I ponder possible targeted ads, I come up with:

1. Kitchen supplies (for Jin, that's an easy one)
2. Medical pharmaceuticals (for the Lesley, until she's all better)
3. Either some Web-design thing or some book thing (Stewie)
4. Places to buy DVDs (Aric, and Stewie, too)
5. Buying classified ads in the paper (my co-workers)
6. Refinancing your car (Freak)
7. Home mortgage applications (Freak)
8. Refinancing your student loans (Mike and the college crew)

And, of course...
9. Vacation destinations (Mom)

So watch for my brand-new ads! To borrow a quote, "Damn the Man! Save the Empire!"

Naming rights

From Norman via the Lesley. Because I love these things.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet and current street name)

Morgan Taurus

Sounds kind of cool.

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your mom's side, your favorite candy)

Sam Heath

Very noir-ish, no?

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your middle name)


Would be better with four letters, then I'd be E-Mart, like a store or something.

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)

Purple Shark

Sounds more like a porn star.

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)

Martin Saigon

Yeah, that works out pretty well.

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME!!: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 2 letters of your mom's maiden name and first 3 letters of the town you grew up in)


Vaguely obscene, but I think it fits. Probably an ugly action figure, though. (And way, way too much thought required.)

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (your favorite color, favorite drink)

Purple Soda

My superpower would be what? Spewing carbonated purple liquid at bad guys? Lame way to end.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Munkees endorse MOTHERfreakin' movies

I was posting a comment on Jim Emerson's Scanners blog today and it reminded me to mention something interesting about my weekend.

I went to the movies.


Now, that may not be big news for some of you, but frankly, for a movie fan, I hardly ever actually GO to the movies. Maybe on a date, or on a Sunday afternoon when there's nothing else to do, but basically I have a problem with the hassle.

Or, that is to say, the crowds.

But Sunday night, I found myself sitting in a huge theater in New York City (25 screens!) for almost four hours - and really enjoying it.

See, as I was remarking to Mr. Emerson, what drives me into a theater - as opposed to buying/renting a DVD six months later and watching on my HDTV at home - is one of three things:

1. A movie I have to see on the big screen. That is to say, most action movies and many movies with impressive scenery.

2. A movie that would actually be ENHANCED by people talking and making noise and shouting at the screen. (More on this in a minute.)

3. A movie I just have to see RIGHT FREAKIN' NOW, and not in six or nine months when the DVD hits stores. (More on this, too.)

The movies I went to see Sunday night fit two of the three categories.

The now-infamous "Snakes on a Plane" fit No. 2, and "The Descent" fit No. 3.

"SoaP" is a movie you have to see with a crowd. That's not to say I won't buy the DVD the day it streets and watch it again and again. But really, this is a movie where a crowd full of idiots really makes the experience a delight. (And by idiots, I'm including myself - I clapped along with everybody else when Sam Jackson said, and say it with me, "I've had it with these MOTHERfuckin' snakes on this MOTHERfuckin' plane!")

There was this middle-aged Asian lady sitting right next to me who spent the entire film giving a running commentary in Thai (or some other Asian language) to her daughter next to her, and shrieking every time she saw a snake bigger than your average Ramen noodle. She literally jumped out of her seat twice, watched half the movie through her fingers like Mom during "Dead Hunt," and if I'd paid more attention, I probably could have learned Thai for "SNAKE!" and "NO! Don't open THAT!" She actually apologized for all the noise after the film - the commentary I could've done without, but the rest, well, hell, that was funny.

See, that's having a good time at the theater. Somebody babbling through, say, "Poseidon," wouldn't have had the same effect. Besides, everybody's eyes rolling made enough noise during that one.

Laughing during a comedy is to be expected - and "SoaP" is damn funny, and somewhat a comedy - but it takes a special kind of action/disaster movie - and that's really what "SoaP" is - to get people yelling and cheering throughout.

I remember seeing "Ghosts of Mars" in a theater, with a mostly black audience, who yelled and screamed every time Ice Cube did something cool (a la Sam Jackson in "SoaP" or really just about anything). Which was about five times in the film - and it's a pretty good film - but I remember more the moment when I heard a flick, saw a flash behind me, glanced back (I've had plenty of friends who sneak a cigarette in theaters) and saw somebody light up a crack pipe.

But "SoaP" was a movie people could do that to throughout. (I mean, yell at the people on screen, not smoke crack. Well, they probably could do both, except in New York City these days, you can't light up anything anywhere.)

Yes, "SoaP" is formulaic (you know the ratio: four out of five jerk passengers die, with the fifth becoming nice, and three out of five nice passengers live, with one sacrificing him/herself and the other victimized by the need for tension). And it's hard to believe anything could live up to the hype the movie got. Frankly, if I'd seen it in six months, on DVD, it probably wouldn't have. But there, in the theater, that's how you have a good time - when the audience is SUPPOSED to be making noise.

After "SoaP," I went on to a very different sort of movie: "The Descent." Now, that falls into category 3, a movie I have to see RIGHT (MOTHERfuckin' snakes!) NOW! and not later.

Why? Because I love horror movies, my friends love horror movies, and my friends have said repeatedly it's the horror movie of the year (even if it really came out last year, in England). It's from the director of the awesome grunts-v.-werewolves flick "Dog Soldiers," and it's the story of a group of female cavers on a trip into hell.

Now, those who know me know I love a good goofball horror film even more than a good suspenseful one, but there is just something primal about a horror film that really taps into human fear. And this one does it. I mean, it's claustrophobic by nature (they're in a cave network). It's suspenseful. It's bloody. It's action-packed. It's just really, really good.

And I found the female perspective refreshing, though my HorrorTalk colleague GG (a girl) informed me that it is a little more stereotypical than I'd thought. (She loved the flick, too, though. She's one of the reasons I went to see it.) I found the female emotions (vastly more subtle and yet more present than typical male-character movie emotions) lent an even different spin to the flick.

And yeah, it's scary as all get out. So that one lived up to the hype, too.

Yes, it's formulaic, too, in many ways (you know who's going to live or die from the start, more or less - a couple of the girls should have "cannon fodder" stenciled on their climbing helmets), but much like "Dog Soldiers," the how and why of the deaths escaped the cliched more often than not.

No, I didn't have to see it in a theater. But I didn't want to wait for the DVD - and having seen the film, I'm glad I didn't.

It was a decent weekend before the movies - family wedding and then family 90th birthday party, seeing the 'rents for the first time in a while - but the movies were the icing on the cake. Even if I got home at 1 a.m. and didn't get anything done I'd planned for Sunday night.

Besides, the last movie I'd seen in a theater was MOTHERfucking "You, Me & Dupree" (it was a date! she picked! not munkeefault!) and well, I've got a reputation to maintain. Screw that comedy stuff.

Give me something with blood, guts and scares!

Just no spiders. "Spiders on a Plane," I'd have definitely skipped.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Lack of coordination

I'm thinking about moving my blog over to MySpace.

Or maybe doing something else.

I feel very uncoordinated. I have a random, unofficial homepage on EarthLink. I have an official homepage at DonkeyHat. I have a MySpace page. I have a blog (here, duh!). I have Web sites I write for.

I don't know what to do. I'm overwhelmed by the unintentional massiveness of my Internet presence.

I feel like I should have one big ol' home for me. With links to everywhere else. Or something. I don't know.

I like what I've done with my blog, but I know I can copy the posts all over to MySpace and backdate them.

Or I could try to convert my unofficial homepage over to the blog itself. It's mostly just links anyway. And it's also called "Life on the Rim."

Decisions, decisions. If I move to MySpace, I'll have to find a template. I just have the generic one. And it took me so long to figure out how to make this blog template so cool, I'd hate to give that up.

Confusedmunkee. Chaosmunkee.

Mood: Befuddled

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Another survey! Yay!

I love surveys, if you haven't noticed.

I got this from the MySpace page of my excellent friend and star of "Dead Hunt," the model/actress Colleen Taylor.

Birthday:Feb. 12, 1975
Birthplace:Saigon, South Vietnam
Current Location:Hillsborough, N.J.
Eye Color:Brown
Hair Color:Black
Right Handed or Left Handed:Right
Your Heritage:Vietnamese and something else
The Shoes You Wore Today:adidas sneakers
Your Weakness:Overthinking
Your Fears:Bugs, heights, dying old and alone
Your Perfect Pizza:1/2 cheese, 1/2 pepperoni
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:Survive
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:LOL
Thoughts First Waking Up:"Can I stay in bed?"
Your Best Physical Feature:Shoulders
Your Bedtime:3 a.m.
Your Most Missed Memory:Playing with "Star Wars" toys as a child
Pepsi or Coke:Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:Burger King
Single or Group Dates:Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:Nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla:Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee:Neither
Do you Smoke:I have, but I don't
Do you Swear:#$&%, yeah!
Do you Sing:Only in the car and shower
Do you Shower Daily:Mostly
Have you Been in Love:Yes, twice
Do you want to go to College:Already been, don't want to go back
Do you want to get Married:Yes
Do you belive in yourself:Most of the time, well, sometimes, well, maybe
Do you get Motion Sickness:Rarely
Do you think you are Attractive:I think I'm all right
Are you a Health Freak:No
Do you get along with your Parents:Yes
Do you like Thunderstorms:Yes
Do you play an Instrument:No, though I have
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:In the past day
In the past month have you Smoked:No
In the past month have you been on Drugs:Never done 'em
In the past month have you gone on a Date:Yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:I live in New Jersey for Pete's sake
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:Not a whole box
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:No, though I have in the past
In the past month have you been on Stage:No, but I wish I were
In the past month have you been Dumped:Yes, more than once
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:No
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:No, I'm usually the lookout
Ever been Drunk:Yes
Ever been called a Tease:No
Ever been Beaten up:Yes
Ever Shoplifted:No, I'm usually the lookout
How do you want to Die:Old and in bed... with a beautiful woman
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:A munkee!
What country would you most like to Visit:Iceland - been there twice, want to go back
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:Blue or green
Favourite Hair Color:Blonde or red
Short or Long Hair:Long
Height:Shorter than me - is that wrong?
Weight:Thinner than me - is that wrong?
Best Clothing Style:Yeah, like I can dress
Number of Drugs I have taken:Never taken any
Number of CDs I own:About 200
Number of Piercings:None
Number of Tattoos:None
Number of things in my Past I Regret:At least two, probably a lot more, and counting


Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Zuni "folo"

For Stewie's side of the story... read his post on his Brain, and his Brain on Fear.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Camera-shy: A HorrorFind postmortem

So I've returned from HorrorFind weekend, both the coolest and quietest of the five I've attended.

It was a good weekend, and I spent plenty of time manning the Timewarp table. (Timewarp parter/producer/DP/all-around-great-guy Don Dohler is ill and couldn't attend, so they were shorthanded.)

It didn't seem like a great show for attendance, and it wasn't a great show for buying things.

I wound up getting just a couple of books, a handful of DVDs, a couple of screeners for HorrorTalk and one other thing I'll mention later, because it's a story.

I did get to wear my cool Timewarp shirt every day, though. Yay!

Once, I wandered through the celebrity room. A few celebrities had to cancel, for reasons ranging from illness to an inability to leave Europe after last week's terror scare. Anyway, there wasn't really anybody there who I wanted to get a signature from. I'm not much of an autograph collector, anyway.

But the highlight of the show was undoubtedly the "Dead Hunt" public premiere. Three words for you:




And it got a great reception, to boot. I still love it. And I jumped at the exact same scare I jumped at when I went to the cast and crew premiere.

(I wrote the movie, remember? I knew it was coming, too. And I still jumped. Sheesh.)

Got some nice compliments, including one from Aric, who knows a thing or two about filmmaking.

Anyway, it was really fun to see with a real, non-biased audience. And they seemed to have a good time. And that's what counts. That, and finding a distribution deal. But this is out of my hands, eh?

Plus, "Peter West," my boss from HorrorTalk was there, along with my bestest online pal Stewie. I brought Mookie along for any group shots (he's a member of the forum), but you know what? I took absolutely ZERO pictures. First time I've ever done that at HF. I saw Joe Ripple from Timewarp, of course, and his wife, Michelle, and my main man JP and his gal-pal Heather, plus the Video Kitchen crew and a bunch of people from DH, and plenty more. I met Frank Lama from some of Aric's movies, and other film-type people, too.

Still, the camera never came out of the bag. Like I said, a strangely sedate HF weekend. But it's like I told Stewie, I went to HF for two basic reasons: To hang with him, and to see the "DH" premiere. So it was a very cool weekend, too. Maybe next year I'll have some DVDs to autograph...

And now that you've gotten this far, your reward is the best story of the weekend. Of course, Stewie'll put it on his blog, and he probably tells it better. But here's my version.

Like I said before, there wasn't much that caught my eye, in terms of shopping.

Something caught Stewie's eye, though: a Zuni fetish doll from the movie "Trilogy of Terror." And to think, I just edited one of his upcoming reviews in which he's lamenting how the thing still scares the crap out of him... as a 30-something adult!

So he's pondering whether to buy it to add to his horror-figure collection... after all, it's not cheap, and it's life-size and therefore scary, at least to him.

(To set the stage: We roomed together, as has been our tradition. I know, we're cheapskates... I prefer to think of it as being frugal. Less money for hotel, more money to spend on stuff.)

Anyway, I did what any good friend would do under the circumstances.

When he wasn't looking, I bought the doll. Hey, I wanted to look at it, they said it was the last one, and inspiration struck. A gift! And some fun!

I had it under the table, with a toy I bought for myself (action figures! the women of "Sin City"!), hidden under some free posters I got from Lion's Gate, and when Stewie finally came back just a few minutes before the show closed for the night, I asked him if he could close the table so I could run my toys back to the room.

(Aside, hey, Lion's Gate, or Lionsgate, whichever you prefer... please please please pick up "Dead Hunt" for distribution!)

He even told me later he wondered what all I'd bought, since I had this huge bag and he hadn't seen me pick up anything but my toys, which came in a long, skinny box.

Anyway, like I said, I did what any good friend would do under the cirucmstances.

I hid the doll in his bed, behind those big, decorative pillows you get on a hotel bed. Piece of cake, I figure. He'll walk through the door, toss the decorative pillows on the floor, and there will stand Mr. Zuni, startling the hell out of him and giving me a good laugh for my money.

But no.

Turns out, as Stewie put it, he likes having lots of pillows. Four hours of gabbing, drinking, playing on our laptops, he NEVER EVER moves those pillows.

Finally, it's time for bed. Lights out.

Now, I'm having visions of disaster: 3 in the morning, I'm awakened by a blood-curdling scream, and my pal drops dead of a heart attack, having found the little bugger in the dark throes of some dream about red-headed Asian women.

So I've got to get him to find the thing.

I mention the pillows. He thinks nothing of it.

I tell him they're decorative. He insists he likes having lots of pillows.

I tell him he should move them around. He complies.

And tells me, "See, they're decorative, there's a plastic thing back here holding them up."

Apparently, in the dark, he put the "plastic thing" on the floor.

And I say, "I don't have one."

So, he turns on the light and looks over the edge of the bed to see just what he put on the floor.

You've never seen a guy that big move that fast.

He was across the double bed, back to the wall, covers gathered around him, shaking.

Apparently, he saw nothing but the teeth that have scared him since 1970-something.

I was shaking, too. From laughter.

He thanked me for the gift, put the doll in the box, and put the box in the closet. Facing away from the closet door. And there it stayed for the remainder of the weekend.

Friday, August 11, 2006


Wait! I remembered...

The 9th-grade show was "The Night of Jan. 16th."

The 12th-grade show was called "Special Guest."

Two random lists

OK, I'm off to HorrorFind for the yearly HorrorTalk get-together...

I took today (Thursday) off, even though I'm not leaving until tomorrow (Friday). Why?

Well, let me explain.

You all are probably aware of the big terrorism bust today, right? Big news + Thursday = headache at the paper Thursday night.

Well, I used to just take Friday off, and then these things happened:

• Thursday before HF, 2003: The big blackout on the East Coast, including the newspaper office.
• Thursday before HF, 2004: New Jersey Gov. James E. McGreevey came out of the closet and resigned.

Needless to say, last year, I took Thursday before HF off, just on general principles. And now, big news happened again.


My other random list of the day was something that popped into my head the other day for no reason at all:

Strange things I had to wear throughout my acting career.

• Childhood ("Waiting for Godot"): A pirate-coat-turned-Halloween-costume. I got it from my father's friend, the director at Bloomsburg University, who liked me in it so much when I went to his house to trick or treat, that I ended up playing the "Boy" in Beckett's strange, strange play.
• 7th grade, winter (hell if I can remember the title): Snidely Whiplash moustache, black hat and cape, and all. Yes, I was the villain. Best story: The running gag is that one character, "Strongheart," has a mother named "Anemia." (Get it? Anemia Strongheart?) Well, the actor playing Strongheart, being an eighth-grader and probably never having heard the word, kept pronouncing it "Anna-MIA" and driving the director nuts.
• 7th grade, spring ("Vaudeville's My Home"): White-haired wig. And a bell, under a hat. Elderly janitor. But I got to play a scene with Shannon, my not-so-secret crush. Of course, she was playing an old lady.
• 8th grade, winter (I don't remember this name, either; the director wrote it; I'm sure my mother could tell you): Tutu. That's right, they put a boy in the throes of puberty in a dress and sent him out in front of all his friends and neighbors. Y'all wonder why I'm such a headcase. 12 going on 13, I'm playing the "fairy godfather."
• 9th grade, fall (some courtroom drama, again, the name is lost to college binge-drinking and brain-cell-killing): Bailiff's uniform. I was... the bailiff. Funniest thing I remember: We called our "jury" and "witnesses" out of the audience, and the girl in the low-cut dress was sitting right behind my father. We call her, she gets up, he turns around at the movement, and she bends down to fix her shoe, and he's (inadvertantly) looking right down her dress. Welcome to high-school drama, Dad!
• 10th grade, spring ("Little Shop of Horrors"): I was only a vagrant in the opening number, despite my best musical auditions ever. So I wore... dirty clothes.
• 11th grade, winter ("The Crucible"): Breeches. With Velcro up the sides, that became safety pins on Night 2 after I almost lost my pants onstage on Night 1. That hasty refastening wasn't in the movie when Daniel Day Lewis played John Proctor. Hey, whatever my problems, I got my first girlfriend out of this show, so I can't have been that bad...
• 11th grade, spring ("Man of LaMancha"): Pantyhose. As "tights," under a costume that I can only describe as William Shakespeare meets a Beefeater. And a suit of armor. Hey, I played three characters. Or one, who was three. Or something.
• 12th grade, winter ("The Night of Jan. 16th"): Sorry, just a plain old shirt-and-tie/jacket kind of deal. Got my second girlfriend out of this show. Which, well, never mind. The rest is probably TMI. But I could tell stories and stories about taking this show on the road. (It was a competition play, which meant... overnight field trip!)
• College, sophomore year ("Lysistrata"): A toga. Which, I might add, I don't recall ever wearing in four years in a fraternity. I also got to kiss a girl who wasn't Michelle. Michelle saw her during rehearsals and snarked later, "she's not that pretty." She was. I didn't have a name in that one; I think I was Athenian Man No. 2 or something. We all made up names ("Speedye," "Quikkye," "Riunite," etc.) but they didn't get into the program.
• Adulthood ("Dead Hunt"): A black, full-face ski mask, which as I referred to it when shopping, "the kind you rob banks with." Oops. My scenes got cut anyway.

And of course, in almost all of these, I had to wear stage makeup. Which makes me break out like crazy.

So, yes. When Norman complained about putting her hose on backward, I could relate. In the "LaMancha" dress rehearsals, I had to get a girl in the show to help me figure it out.

But I'll bet nobody out there has ever taken the stage, as a mid-pubescent teen, in a trenchcoat, and flashed a sixth-grader... revealing a tutu and a holstered magic potion. I can still hear the laughter. Which was good for the show. My psyche, maybe not so much.

At least I can laugh about it now. After years of therapy and pharmaceuticals.

Monday, August 07, 2006


Swiped this from Stewie.

1. One book that changed your life.
"Ice Station," by Matthew Reilly. Best random at-the-register purchase ever. And probably my favorite book.

2. One book you've read more than once.
"Lightning," by Dean Koontz, which is a really great thriller with a terrific conceit.

I read lots of books more than once.

3. One book you'd want on a desert island.
Probably "The Complete Works of Shakespeare." Why? Because it's long and has lots of stuff.

And because "The Complete Works of Preston & Child" hasn't yet been compiled.

4. One book that made you laugh.
OK, this is going to sound really wrong, but I can't think of anything offhand except... "The Fredericksburg Campaign: Winter War on the Rappahannock," by Francis O'Reilly.

I know, doesn't sound funny. But there's a scene in which a Union soldier manages to avoid death on the battlefield when the man next to him is decapitated by a cannon shot... and the flying severed head knocks the other dude unconscious.

I laughed. Out loud. Sue me.

5. One book that made you cry.
I can't think of one of these, either. But I know it happens. I'm all emotional that way.

6. One book that you wish had been written.
Not sure, but I imagine it would have my name on it as the author!

Or possibly, "The History of Munkees."

7. One book that you wish had never been written.
I don't know, maybe something by the Nazis like "Mein Kampf," or something else by some asshole. Or maybe, on a lesser scale, Reilly's "Scarecrow," which killed off one of my favorite characters.

8. One book you're currently reading.
I'm actually in between books at the moment. Just re-read "Phantoms," by Koontz, which is much better than the movie but still kind of throwaway. And I think I'll be on to "Joe R. Lansdale's Lords of the Razor" next.

9. One book you've been meaning to read.
You know that limited-edition horror addiction I've been mentioning...? Well, I'm way behind.

I love books! Pass it on!