What ever happened to that novel, anyway?

Perhaps you may recall the novel I started way back in November of 2006 for National Novel Writing Month. Tentatively called "Throne of the Living Dead," and later "Gun Dead," it was subtitled "A High-Firepower Melodrama in XX Parts" (with "XX" a number dependant sheerly on how many chapters I had written), and well on its way to living up to the name. Guns, zombies, gore, cheesy action... and just a hint of cheesy romance.

That was then. And, really, that is now, too.

See, I encountered a problem. The zombies ate my brain. Well, not really, though you might debate the point. It wasn't even that, three months after I started, I fell in love. You always hear about how artists and writers must suffer in order to achieve true greatness. And, of course, my suffering (more or less) ended when I met Marisa.

Still, I don't think that accounts for what is now going on two and a half years of what amounts to writer's block.

Much like her, I've hit a wall.

I just can't write. Not fiction. Not screenplays. Nothing. I can get my work done, throw together the occasional bit for a freelance gig, but basically, when it comes to my Creative Writing side, I'm just plain stumped. I've tried new novel-centric software, since Final Draft always helped my screenwriting. I've tried rethinking the novel into a script - movie or graphic novel, take your pick - I've tried just plain picking up what I have written and staring at it.

Nothing.

It's killing me. I want to write. I want to edit. I want to finish a first draft and move on to rewriting. I still fantasize that someday it might become one of those limited edition horror novels I collect.

But I can't do it.

I think my mistake was leaving the structure open-ended. If I felt like writing a new chapter, I could just change the number (see "XX," above) of parts in the melodrama. But as you might expect, I had good parts, bad parts, some plain awesome stuff and some stuff not worth the paper it was inkjetted on.

So I kept having ideas, and I think somewhere along the way, the law of diminishing returns kicked in.

Add to that my dubious skill, plus the various time constraints of the past couple of years (see previous post), and you have a recipe for writing disaster. No time to pick up the laptop and start writing, and on the rare occasions I do have time, I just come up empty. It's all in my head, I know it. I just can't do anything about it.

Long story short (too late, I know), that's what happened to the novel. I always gave some thought to turning it into an online novel, posting a chapter at a time on a blog. I have the sad feeling that, despite my success with Dead Hunt, this thing is going to end up unpublished even if I do finish.

But I think it has some entertainment value, if not much literary value, so I keep hoping. And staring at the screen.

Check it out!

Another movie I appear in will be hitting DVD soon:

John Paul Kinhart's "Blood, Boobs & Beast"is a documentary on the life and work of the late horror producer/director Don Dohler, who was one-half of Timewarp Films.

A lot of footage was shot by John and his Video Kitchen crew on the set of "Dead Hunt," and (at least in the version I saw at the premiere) I'm quoted in both my (former) role as a reviewer for HorrorTalk and in snippets during the on-set footage.

John got a Troma release for this one, so be sure to check it out!

Another movie I'll be shilling

http://view.break.com/528690 - Watch more free videos

Three words for you:

Ninjas.

Versus.

Zombies.

Oh, yeah, and a fourth:

Cameo.

That's right. The producers of "Ninjas Vs. Zombies" have cast yours truly... as himself.

Well, as a character that looks suspiciously like me, shares at least a last name, and lends some Asian flavor - plus a couple of funny faces - to some combat-training sequences.

That's right. Movie No. 2 under my belt. Let's hope my scenes don't end up on the cutting-room floor in this one.

Do I live through this blood-soaked romp? Well, you'll have to wait and see, now won't you?

If you're wondering, the director is Justin Timpane, the fabulous star of "Dead Hunt" and the subject of my very first post.

As they say in the news biz, further bulletins as events warrant.

"Dead Hunt" on IMDB!

Updating my recent post, and answering a co-worker's question, yes!

"Dead Hunt" now has its very own Internet Movie Database page.

My delight at this is mildly tempered by the fact that the "Eric Strauss" credited with writing the movie is...

Some other guy.

But never fear. After a brief mental battle between ego, guilt, obsessiveness with accuracy, and the dream of making my mother proud, I've submitted a correction for approval.

Before the producer/cinematographer for "National Geographic Explorer," one of my favorite shows, wonders what the hell this movie is he's credited with writing.

And my mother wonders if I've been secretly involved in TV all these years.

Oh, and we got another review! See the link at the top of the page to the short writeup at Horror-Web!

Buy my movie!

That's right!

At long last, "Dead Hunt," the slasher-thriller I wrote back in 2004-05, has arrived!

So click on over to CreateSpace and pick up a copy of Timewarp Films' latest release today!

Hit the title above to go straight to it and get the two-disc set for only $20. A bargain at twice the price, I tell you. Or click on over to the "Dead Hunt" or Timewarp MySpace pages for more information.

And don't forget to hit the links at the top of the page to read the first review (from HorrorTalk) and see the trailer.

You won't be disappointed, I promise. My horror-reviewing friends like it. I like it. Even my mother likes it!

Look for it soon at Amazon.com and elsewhere, too.

The one in which I answer the questions

Hullo! Now that I'm back in the swing of blogging, I can finally get to the interview questions Jin asked me a few weeks back!

Kind of nice to not be obsessing over moving and packing... and finally able to catch up on my life.

Speaking of which: Anybody want to buy a townhouse in scenic Hillsborough, N.J., the nation's 23rd best place to live?

But I digress.

Anyway, on with the interview!

1. Do you remember the first horror movie you saw? Do you think it was
this film that began your obsession? (I mean 'obsession' in a good way! ;-)

When I was 10, I went to a sleepover birthday party, and (among other films) we watched "Jaws"and "Jaws 2"back-to-back. I didn't go swimming for about two years. And I still shower quickly. I think that's really what did it.

2. Dead Hunt! How did it come about? Did you just start writing and out
it came or was it a long process? Most importantly, will I be able to
get it from Netflix and when?

The idea for "Dead Hunt" was one I'd come up with a couple of years before the whole process started, visiting the HorrorFind Weekend with my friends from HorrorTalk.com. I started on a short story and never really finished it... but then, when my friend Joe Ripple, of Timewarp Films had an idea that eventually led to "DH," it turned out, when we were talking, it was the same idea that I'd based my story on. So we discussed it, and he took my treatment (a synopsis of a script) to his partner, the late Don Dohler, and they decided to have me write it. The actual writing didn't take too long. I'm a very momentum-based writer, so there were some sleepless nights, but I delivered a first draft fairly quickly. Of course, there was the inevitable revision process after that, which they were kind enough to let me be a part of.

And you should be able to get it from many different places very soon. Last I've heard, it's a September release.

3. YAY! You are engaged to a cute chick that seems pretty darn fabulous!
Tell us more about the wedding plans, honeymoon plans or basically
anything you haven't told us already!

The wedding is Aug. 3, 2008, at the Berkeley Plaza in Berkeley Heights, N.J. It's a very popular wedding location, and has nothing but rave reviews. We've booked a highly regarded DJ and a highly regarded photography studio. And then we put a lot of the planning on hold until after our move, though we are registered at a few places, notably Fortunoff.

As for the honeymoon, we were thinking of somewhere exotic, like Iceland, but because of the house purchase, we're pondering something a little more domestic, but equally fun.

4. After a glance at your 101 in 1,001 I noticed this entry: "97. Be
interviewed by someone, instead of doing the interviewing." I don't
suppose this counts...does it? I bet you meant in real life! ;-) What
famous news person would you most like to meet in the flesh?

I've actually met quite a few vaguely well-known news people, thanks to my profession, but among the truly famous, it's a tough call. The late Peter Jennings was the newsman I grew up listening to, as "World News Tonight" was my parents' nightly news of choice. But among the living, I think the obvious choice is Walter Cronkite, just for everything he's seen and done in, and for, the profession.

Among newspapers, of course, at this point I'd think Woodward & Bernstein are probably the heroes of choice.

But all in all, I'm not too interested in newsman as celebrity. I enjoy sharing a press box with the Oakland Raiders beat writers, none of whom are household names, and I respect their professionalism tremendously. Often even the least-known of journalists has some great stories to tell. My father spent some time as an intern in radio news in college (he was a journalism major), and I love the stories he tells.

That's not really an answer, is it?

5. Wow. A click back to your first post ever informed me that you have
been blogging for 2 years this month. Why did you start blogging? Has
there ever been something you wanted to blog but found you just couldn't
'type about it' or is Life on the Rim pretty much a 'tell all'?

Two years, really?

I didn't think it had been that long. I'll have to check.

I started because one of my friends had started a blog, I'd read some about it in the tech pieces we ran in the paper, and as a writer, the thought really interested me. But I was either too busy or too lazy to do anything about it, until one day, I had a story I wanted to share with the world. And that became my first post.

Which, now that I look it up for the link, was in March 2005. If you're curious.

As for taboo subjects, like anybody else, I suppose I have certain secrets I just will never tell. Plus, I try to stay away from anything that might get me in trouble at work. After all, journalists pride themselves on their objectivity, and newspapers have an editorial board that speaks for them and their staff.

So I don't say where I work, I don't talk about work too much, and I leave out a few secrets from my past, particularly painful ones or ones that might involve people who don't need those stories brought to light.

Other than that, though, as far as my thoughts on things, there, it's pretty much a tell-all.

Thanks, Jin! Hope you (and everyone else) enjoyed my answers!

Read all about it!

That's right... the first review of "Dead Hunt" is online!

It's over at HorrorTalk, written by my colleague DJ Benz.

Check it out! Or else...

The funniest thing I've seen all day

Warning: May not be 100% safe to view in front of co-workers or small children, though not for the reason you'll think when it starts.

And speaking of videos, do you guys like the "Dead Hunt" trailer up above there?

Is it too big? I mean, as far as I'm concerned, it can't be too big. But you're my readers, you tell me if it gets in your way.

In Memoriam...

Rest in peace, Don.

It was a pleasure to know you and an honor to work for you.

By-by-by, by-by!

When I work on my various projects, I've noticed I use a few different names. Perhaps you've noticed, too.

I was thinking about it, and for those wondering, here's the deal:

My journalistic byline is just my first and last name. I use that for all nonfiction/journalism pieces, including my freelance work.

But my freelance work often has nicknames, because most of it is Web-based, either for HorrorTalk (where I'm "The Hitman") or Raiderfans.net (where I'm "Ace," like here, short for "AceRimRat"), and those sites both sort of started out as forums with anonymous pseudonyms.

In fact, I still use my Hitman nickname on HorrorTalk without my name, but that's going to change with my next review, because everyone else is switching, or so it seems.

And then, for "Dead Hunt," I used my full name for the credits, first-middle-last. Why, I was asked?

Well, to differentiate my fiction-type work from my journalism-type work, really.

(The joke: The two Asian guys involved both use their full names, and not a one of them is an Asian name... Six names, nothing Asian whatsoever.)

But I digress. Point is, I like the idea of sort of separating the two.

The reason I bring it up - well, the reason I bring it up is because it was sort of on my mind, and the reason it's sort of on my mind is I'm working on a pair of other projects, and I was thinking about what to put on them.

One is a short fiction piece I'm submitting to a magazine. That was easy - full name, since it's my fiction work.

The other is a longer, freelance nonfiction project I'm discussing with a company. (No details to go into yet, it's still just a discussion.) I found myself wondering if I should use my journalistic byline or my non-journalistic byline. On one hand, it's a nonfiction piece, that leans me toward my journalism byline. But it's completely unlike anything I've done before, more or less - it's not a newspaper thing, or a magzine thing, or a Web journalism thing. And that leans me toward my more, um, "exotic" byline (if that's the right word).

Funny thing is, I don't use my middle name for anything. I use my middle initial on things like checks and credit cards, but I hardly ever use my middle name. I don't even much like it, though it's not that bad, and I do enjoy being named for my great-grandfather(s).

At least I have one, though. Neither of my parents does, which is probably why they gave me one.

Camera-shy: A HorrorFind postmortem

So I've returned from HorrorFind weekend, both the coolest and quietest of the five I've attended.

It was a good weekend, and I spent plenty of time manning the Timewarp table. (Timewarp parter/producer/DP/all-around-great-guy Don Dohler is ill and couldn't attend, so they were shorthanded.)

It didn't seem like a great show for attendance, and it wasn't a great show for buying things.

I wound up getting just a couple of books, a handful of DVDs, a couple of screeners for HorrorTalk and one other thing I'll mention later, because it's a story.

I did get to wear my cool Timewarp shirt every day, though. Yay!

Once, I wandered through the celebrity room. A few celebrities had to cancel, for reasons ranging from illness to an inability to leave Europe after last week's terror scare. Anyway, there wasn't really anybody there who I wanted to get a signature from. I'm not much of an autograph collector, anyway.

But the highlight of the show was undoubtedly the "Dead Hunt" public premiere. Three words for you:

S.

R.

O.

And it got a great reception, to boot. I still love it. And I jumped at the exact same scare I jumped at when I went to the cast and crew premiere.

(I wrote the movie, remember? I knew it was coming, too. And I still jumped. Sheesh.)

Got some nice compliments, including one from Aric, who knows a thing or two about filmmaking.

Anyway, it was really fun to see with a real, non-biased audience. And they seemed to have a good time. And that's what counts. That, and finding a distribution deal. But this is out of my hands, eh?

Plus, "Peter West," my boss from HorrorTalk was there, along with my bestest online pal Stewie. I brought Mookie along for any group shots (he's a member of the forum), but you know what? I took absolutely ZERO pictures. First time I've ever done that at HF. I saw Joe Ripple from Timewarp, of course, and his wife, Michelle, and my main man JP and his gal-pal Heather, plus the Video Kitchen crew and a bunch of people from DH, and plenty more. I met Frank Lama from some of Aric's movies, and other film-type people, too.

Still, the camera never came out of the bag. Like I said, a strangely sedate HF weekend. But it's like I told Stewie, I went to HF for two basic reasons: To hang with him, and to see the "DH" premiere. So it was a very cool weekend, too. Maybe next year I'll have some DVDs to autograph...

And now that you've gotten this far, your reward is the best story of the weekend. Of course, Stewie'll put it on his blog, and he probably tells it better. But here's my version.

Like I said before, there wasn't much that caught my eye, in terms of shopping.

Something caught Stewie's eye, though: a Zuni fetish doll from the movie "Trilogy of Terror." And to think, I just edited one of his upcoming reviews in which he's lamenting how the thing still scares the crap out of him... as a 30-something adult!

So he's pondering whether to buy it to add to his horror-figure collection... after all, it's not cheap, and it's life-size and therefore scary, at least to him.

(To set the stage: We roomed together, as has been our tradition. I know, we're cheapskates... I prefer to think of it as being frugal. Less money for hotel, more money to spend on stuff.)

Anyway, I did what any good friend would do under the circumstances.

When he wasn't looking, I bought the doll. Hey, I wanted to look at it, they said it was the last one, and inspiration struck. A gift! And some fun!

I had it under the table, with a toy I bought for myself (action figures! the women of "Sin City"!), hidden under some free posters I got from Lion's Gate, and when Stewie finally came back just a few minutes before the show closed for the night, I asked him if he could close the table so I could run my toys back to the room.

(Aside, hey, Lion's Gate, or Lionsgate, whichever you prefer... please please please pick up "Dead Hunt" for distribution!)

He even told me later he wondered what all I'd bought, since I had this huge bag and he hadn't seen me pick up anything but my toys, which came in a long, skinny box.

Anyway, like I said, I did what any good friend would do under the cirucmstances.

I hid the doll in his bed, behind those big, decorative pillows you get on a hotel bed. Piece of cake, I figure. He'll walk through the door, toss the decorative pillows on the floor, and there will stand Mr. Zuni, startling the hell out of him and giving me a good laugh for my money.

But no.

Turns out, as Stewie put it, he likes having lots of pillows. Four hours of gabbing, drinking, playing on our laptops, he NEVER EVER moves those pillows.

Finally, it's time for bed. Lights out.

Now, I'm having visions of disaster: 3 in the morning, I'm awakened by a blood-curdling scream, and my pal drops dead of a heart attack, having found the little bugger in the dark throes of some dream about red-headed Asian women.

So I've got to get him to find the thing.

I mention the pillows. He thinks nothing of it.

I tell him they're decorative. He insists he likes having lots of pillows.

I tell him he should move them around. He complies.

And tells me, "See, they're decorative, there's a plastic thing back here holding them up."

Apparently, in the dark, he put the "plastic thing" on the floor.

And I say, "I don't have one."

So, he turns on the light and looks over the edge of the bed to see just what he put on the floor.

You've never seen a guy that big move that fast.

He was across the double bed, back to the wall, covers gathered around him, shaking.

Apparently, he saw nothing but the teeth that have scared him since 1970-something.

I was shaking, too. From laughter.

He thanked me for the gift, put the doll in the box, and put the box in the closet. Facing away from the closet door. And there it stayed for the remainder of the weekend.

The premiere! Awesome!

Or, as my inner child put it so eloquently, moviemunkeeyay!

The premiere for "Dead Hunt" was Saturday night, and more than 100 people were at the first show.

And the movie was great. The experience was even greater.

For one thing, it was great seeing everybody again - everyone from the cast and crew made it! Every single one. And I think I got them all to sign my poster! (It wasn't nearly as awkward as I'd feared, since everybody was going around signing each other's stuff.)

And second, the movie just rocked. I hadn't seen the whole thing, only about the first half of the edit, without all the bells and whistles like computer effects and music and so on. It was really terrific. Tight, tense, funny where it should be, sad or scary where it should be. Exciting. A great little B-movie.

Joe Ripple, the (co-)director, gave me a nice introduction (among other people), too. It was a nice little ego boost, made even nicer because my parents were sitting right there with me to share it. Funny how that matters more as I get older - I used to love the cheers in drama, just because it made me psyched. But by the time I gave my speech at graduation, it mattered almost as much that they were there to hear people cheer. I didn't think they'd like the movie, but I felt like they deserved to be there to share the experience. They're the ones who always encouraged me and paid for school so I could study screenwriting instead of something more lucrative, and who believed in me from Day 1.

And the effects, while excellent, didn't gross them out too much. That was clutch.

Yes, I took my parents to a horror movie. Hey, they wanted to go. I warned them. But they really had a good time and were really proud of me, and that may have been most exciting of all.

Well, seeing my name on screen (sole screenwriting credit!) may have been the most exciting. But one of the two.

My buddy Ed liked it, too. He went along and we hung out all weekend. We were college roommates and writers/journalists together so it was nice to share the experience with him. (Hopefully I didn't make him too jealous. He's writing a script right now.)

And it was really, really great to see the movie with an audience. I mean, maybe every straight-to-DVD movie gets a premiere, I don't know. But it was just great to hear the audience react - even if they laughed a couple of times when they weren't supposed to. There were lots of gasps and yells and a few cheers and whistles and stuff. Everybody in the cast and crew seemed to feel the same way, really dig it. And I got lots of compliments on my writing. That was nice. I'm glad I could do the cast and crew's talents justice and justify the risk Timewarp took on me.

It was really a great time. One of the greatest nights of my life. What a perfect cap to the whole experience. I told somebody, if the movie had stunk I still wouldn't have traded the experience for anything, but the fact that it's really great is really the perfect ending. Beginning. Whatever.

And yeah, I got excited about things. Pretty much the second the lights went out and the film started. I'm probably still high on the experience. I know, I'm a goof. Deal.

So thank you to everyone out there associated with Timewarp Films, particularly Joe Ripple and Don Dohler, of course. And everyone associated with "Dead Hunt." Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I can't say it enough. The whole adventure has been one of the greatest of my life. I'll never forget it, no matter how long I live or whatever else I do.

And remember, my faithful readers, when the movie hits DVD later this year (hopehopehope), I expect you all to buy a copy! If you're nice to me, I'll even autograph 'em!

The big day... why am I so blah?

Tomorrow's the movie premiere, down in Maryland. Just about exactly 24 hours from now, my name's going to scroll across the credits of a real live B-movie.

I feel very strange about it today. I'm not like super-excited giddy, which I think everyone expects me to be. The thing is, I am, just inside, I think. I mean, I'm really excited, but I think in a way it feels like the end of a great journey, not the start of something. So I guess there's some sadness in there.

Maybe it's nerves. My parents will be there, despite being somewhat squeamish about these things. Ed's going to be there, but that's not it, either. I mean, he's my bud, and he was on set the one day, so it's not like he doesn't know what to expect.

It's not the drive to Maryland. Heck, I was in D.C. last week.

And it's not fear that the movie will suck. I've seen half of it, and it rocked. I mean, I suppose there's always a chance the world-at-large will hate it, but I'm not nervous about that.

And I am definitely looking forward to seeing everyone from the cast and crew - and getting my poster signed! I'll be running around like a senior with a yearbook in the half-hour before the show, methinks! And that may be part of the nerves. I hate stuff like that, it's part of the reason I gave up on reporting, and part of the reason I suck at picking up girls. The approach has never been my strong suit.

Stewie asked me once about how come I, the reporter, often take a back seat to him when we're at the cons trolling for screeners, and I said it was because he has no hesitation about walking up to someone and chatting with them, whereas when I lack the power of a press behind me ("Hi, I'm Ace, with the XXX newspaper...") I am not nearly so brave. Part of that shyness thing my therapist used to tell me about, I guess. It's not that I lack courage, I don't think, I just lack that kind of courage.

I think part of it, too, is fear of being late. The show starts PROMPTLY at 7 p.m., or so I'm told. And y'all know I'm late for everything, even when, as today's lunch date, it wasn't really my fault. Last week, on the ride back, I spent an hour making the 15 minute drive across Delaware, thanks to some ugly traffic.

(And maybe the nerves of trying to date a girl in general, and a somewhat mysterious one on top of that, with the pressure of getting set up, are getting to the rest of my life, too? Who knows. With all the pressures of the New Work Order on top of that, anything is possible.)

But as for the lateness, well, I'm meeting my folks for dinner beforehand, so I've got a window of screw-upped-ness. They're used to me being late anyway.

I'm pretty sure tomorrow I'll be giddy and goofy and pumped and psyched. (And probably thus spending three hours making Ed wish he wasn't trapped in a car with me.) I just want to get there. It's been a long week at work, even though it was a short week. And it's not over yet (don't tell!). It'll be a relief to get through it, but then I'll probably wish it went on forever.

So to sum up, yeah, I'm excited. Delighted. Thrilled. I'm just not showing it yet. Maybe, since I wear my emotions on my sleeve so much, the very best things I like to keep inside. Just for me. I'm sure when I go to bed tonight, it's all I'll think about.

Besides, screaming and dancing and jumping up and down at work is usually considered poor form.

Mood: One part confused in general, one part tired and working, one part conspiratorially giddy about my freakin' movie premiere!!!!!

See, already I'm getting psyched. Just thinking about it. Yay! Munkee!

(And evidently my last post should've read Mood: Forgetful since I forgot my little mood tag. D'oh!)

The most wonderful time of the year

So a couple of weeks ago was HorrorFind Weekend, down in Maryland, and it's always one of my favorite weekends of the year.

It's a horror movie and book convention, complete with screenings, celebrities signign autographs and authors reading from their work.

But really, the most fun part is kicking back with the crew from HorrorTalk and having a good time.

This year was the fourth straight year I've gone (out of five conventions) and the third at the maze that is the Hunt Valley Marriott. Who knows if they'll be back, though, since some yahoos set off the fire alarm not once, but twice, and vandalized the building. Stupid idiots always ruining things for others.

One letdown was that the Timewarp guys were hoping to be able to screen "Dead Hunt" this year, but it isn't done yet. Still, next year should be a good year, since it'll be out by then. Maybe I'll get to sign some autographs! Yay!

But that doesn't mean this year wasn't fun. In fact, it may have been the most fun ever, despite the fact that I thought the con was probably the weakest ever in terms of content in the vendor room. They did pack in the people, despite the world's biggest anime convention being the same weekend, in the same area.

So here's the tick-tock on my trip to the con.

Thursday:
I used to go down on Friday (the con starts Friday night and runs through Sunday afternoon) and stay over through Monday, but two years in a row, something major news-wise happened on Thursday. Two years ago, it was the major East Coast blackout, and last year, it was New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey coming out of the closet and resigning. So this year, I did the smart thing, and took Thursday off.

So I drove down Thursday afternoon, and after missing my exit, finally got there Thursday night. It's not far from where a lot of "Dead Hunt" was shot, so I knew most of the route by heart, but jotted down the last exit number wrong.

When I got there, Stewie was there, with the HorrorTalk Webmaster (Peter West, Danger Seeker) and Renaldo. I've roomed with Stewie the past three years now. We don't mind each other's snoring, and we're cheap enough to want to split the bill.

Stewie had rigged everything up so we and Renaldo had adjoining rooms, and both had patios next to the pool. This was cool, because it meant we could spend most of our time sitting outside at little tables, drinking beer. I got eaten alive by bugs, but that's not the point.

So Thursday night, we drank.

We started out in the bar, with all the cool con people, and then headed back to our patios.

There, Joe Ripple, the director of "Dead Hunt," stopped by, and that rocked. Joe ran security (no, the damn alarms weren't his fault) and I hadn't seen him or talked with him much since the end of the shoot (he's working and going back to school for nursing) so it was great to see him. Joe also gave me my very own TimeWarp Films shirt, and that may have been the highlight of the weekend. I put it on Saturday, and I don't think I took it off until I got home, except to sleep and shower.

Problem was, my Captain-and-Coke evening backfired, because the stupid sleep study I had Wednesday night gave me a raging nosebleed that just won't go away. So that night, it started again, and when I honked down the blood, I wound up puking my guts out. Yuck.

I've decided that while barfing is funny when other people do it, it's not so funny when I do it.

Friday:
So Friday starts off with a bang because somewhere in our drunken wisdom the night before, we'd agreed to hit the big ol' breakfast buffet with Peter.

Yeah, like I could eat. I got a nice omelet and I wound up pretty much staring hungrily at three crispy strips of bacon that I was just too scared to eat. It's one thing to barf in the privacy of your room. It's another to do it in public.

So, no breakfast. Spent most of the afternoon screwing around, since the con didn't open until the evening, then hopped on line for my wristband and off we went!

I was finally feeling better by then, I might add. In case you were concerned.

My rule on vendor rooms is this: I make at least one lap of everything before I buy ANYTHING - that saves me money in the long run. Not that I didn't run out, but heck, I run out every year.

So I actually ended up buying virtually nothing on Friday. I did take a picture of Stewie with Sid Haig, star of Rob Zombie's two horror films. No, I have no idea how to post pictures on Blogger. Go to the HorrorTalk forum, and you can see it there. Stewie's the one with hair.

And Friday night, more drinking. Fnordboy and his lady arrived Friday (I think; between the booze and my usual forgetfulness, the days kind of run together). So that was more fun. That was before she got food poisoning.

Highlight of the night: Stewie and Renaldo grabbed some barricade posts that were nearby, blocked off our patio, and put up a sign that said something like "Private Party, Guests of HorrorTalk only, please." So these kids come by and ask us if we mind if they use the pool. Hah!

And then, after they'd hopped the fence and gotten caught, the manager or whoever made them hop the fence to get out (rather than letting them in the hotel-side entrance) and one of 'em just completely duffed it going back over. Clang! Thud! Ow!

This night, by the way, I'd recovered enough to drink this cool new flavor of Woodchuck cider I'd found at the liquor store while buying my contribution to the party. Dry and Dark. Yum, though I must say I like the Granny Smith better.

Saturday:
Saturday, we gave the buffet another shot. And the bacon was good!

And then off to the con. Bruce Campbell was the headline celebrity, and the line for him went around the freakin' hotel. Fortunately, the line for the guys I wanted was much shorter.

That was the cool part of the morning. Rob Long, the guy doing the "Dead Hunt" poster, did a very cool limited edition poster for "Phantasm," and mailed me a bunch of signed copies for the HT folks. So me, Stewie and Renaldo got in line for Don Coscarelli, the director, and Angus Scrimm, the star.

Oddly enough, I've worked with Coscarelli's niece for five years and never put two and two together. One of the other newsroom movie fans told me the day before I left.

So we're in line, and poor Angus - who's not as young as he used to be - had to use the men's room, so they tell us two of us can get signatures and stuff, then he's going to "take five for a minute." Stewie wanted to get to this reading downstairs, so he switched with Renaldo (I was first of the three of us, somehow) and the two of us got our pics and autographs. Both were very cool. Angus Scrimm was a real gentleman, possibly the only person at the con in a blazer and tie. And even moreso considering he had to take a leak. Coscarelli was great, too, and me and Stewie both got our pictures taken with them before hustling off to catch Reggie Bannister, one of the other "Phantasm" stars, and wait for Renaldo.

We got Reggie's autograph and were listening to Renaldo whine about how he didn't get Angus' on his poster, when Joe comes running up asking if we'd seen Angus. Seems he had a senior moment after his return from the men's room and, depending on who you ask, either wandered away from the table or made a break for the exit.

(They found him soon enough. I don't even think he made it out of the room. God bless him, he was a great guy, very nice. I don't mean to make him sound senile, it was just kind of funny. They were so nice to him, walking him to the bathroom and all, and he just BOLTED.)

So after that, we went to a reading by Brian Keene, the author of the drop-dead-cool "The Rising" and plenty more - who named a character after Stewie in an upcoming book, and Stewie swore to us Keene would be reading the excerpt the character's in.

But no, he didn't. Still, it was a great reading - Keene's a terrific reader, and not all great authors are, believe me. He really gets into it. And getting gifts of whiskey from the audience probably doesn't hurt. Watch for "Earthworm Gods," or whatever it's going to be called, coming soon. Sounds great, and Stewie's in there somewhere, just not in the part he read.

Then I bought some books - there's a new genre out there called "bizarro," and I thought I'd give it a shot. As a headline writer, if there's one thing I can appreciate in a book, it's a catchy title. I mean, "City of the Dead" (the sequel to "The Rising") is a cool title, but pretty self-explanatory.

"Dead Bitch Army," on the other hand, virtually demands you buy it to see what's what. And frankly, three books for $20 is a gamble I'll take any day. I wound up leaving with about ten books for less than $100.

And that's without Cemetery Dance, one of my new favorite horror publishers, being there. Another publisher wasn't there, either, but for the life of me, I can't remember what they're called. Which is unfortunate, because I wanted to buy a book from them that I caught at a reading last year, but I can't remember the author - I knew what table was selling the book, but they'd closed up by the time I got down there, and they weren't there this year. Bummer.

Then, Saturday afternoon, I did my first "DH"-related interview. A company called Video Kitchen is doing a documentary on Timewarp producer Don Dohler, and they asked me to do a formal interview with them. That was cool, since I hadn't seen them since "DH" wrapped, either. Good guys and gal. So I hope they don't make me look like an idiot. I tried to be both eloquent and funny, and I hope it worked. They asked me some tough questions, which surprised me. On the upside, I got to wear my cool shirt, too.

Then it was off to dinner with indie horror film director Kevin Kangas ("Fear of Clowns") and his buddies. Fun. I had something called "sour beef," and it was much better than it sounds.

Anyway, Saturday night was our big drinking party. Everybody who was everybody was there, including Kangas and a trio of friends, the awesome actor J.P. Barry ("FOC," plus two Timewarp films, including "DH"), the aforementioned HT members, retired reviewer Supernova, plus forum ladies Freakmagnet and Meatyhook.

The highlight of that evening was the skinny-dipper. Somebody spotted this girl swimming (again, after hours) and so I nudged J.P., who had been working security at the show, and asked him, "So what do you carry that cool flashlight for, if not for moments like this?"

And he lit her up. Like the sun.

And she responded with a moon. God bless the exhibitionists.

Did I mention Kangas brought Coronas?

Sunday:
So Sunday dawned with another go-round at the buffet, where I found the guys eating with Keene and fellow author J.F. Gonzalez. So after chatting a bit with him about writing and work and such, it was back down to the con for some more books. But first, I hung out with the Video Kitchen crew a bit, and saw Joe and his "future ex-Mrs. Ripple," his saintly wife.

After a while, the con petered out, we said our goodbyes, packed our stuff, and for me and Steve and the VK folks, it was off to Don's house to see some footage of "DH." The movie's about halfway done with editing, and it's freakin' TIGHT. Y'all are gonna love it. Trust me, it's just rockin'.

So that was a kick-ass end to the weekend - I was going to stay over at Chez Stewie on Sunday night and go home Monday, but it was still early when we were done at Don's, and Stewie's is the wrong way, plus he had to roll out early (or so he thought). And so I just drove on home, and got what amounted to a free day off to sort my loot Monday.

Besides the books, I picked up three DVDs - I'm working on a review of one - plus another DVD arrived in the mail while I was gone. Working on that review, too.

Now I just have to get that killer poster framed.

It was a blast. Can't you tell?

Links:
• HorrorFind Weekend, the bestest con ever
• HorrorTalk, the reason I go
• TimeWarp Films, Joe and Don's company
• Marauder Productions, Kangas' company
• The Video Kitchen gang
• J.P. Barry, the other half of the "DH" Asian Invasion
• "Phantasm," a horror classic
• Brian Keene, awesome horror author
• Eraserhead Press, publishers of "Dead Bitch Army" and more
• Die Monster Die!, publishers of "The Dead Walk!" and more

This weekend was brought to you by:
• Captain Morgan spiced rum
• Woodchuck Draft Cider
• Corona, with or without lime

And, by the way, Stewie already covered most of this in his blog. I'm just a little slow to report in.

Awkward Moment of the Day.

So I had to go buy a ski mask today.

It's for the movie.

So I go to the only ski shop I know of, near where I used to live. I'm not even 100% sure it's open anymore because the owner was (allegedly) murdered by his wife a year or so ago, and she later committed suicide before her trial was completed. Their son went to jail for some role in it, too. Sad and strange all at once.

Thus, until I got to the parking lot and tried the door, I wasn't sure the place was still in business. But it is. (Good for them.)

Anyway, nice people inside, but as you might realize, it's spring. It was 71 freakin' degrees yesterday. And I'm looking for a black ski mask.

So the girl in the store says, "May I help you?" and I tell her I'm looking for a ski mask that covers my face. She asks, reasonably enough, if it's for a vacation or if I'm stocking up for next year. Then she asked something about styles I didn't quite get.

Bear in mind, I've gone skiing exactly once in my life, on my mother's skis when I was about 10, cross-country style. I fell down, in the road, in front of a fortunately slowly) passing car, and that ended my skiing career.

I didn't know what to say. So I said the first thing that came to mind.

"I need the kind of ski mask you'd wear if you were robbing a bank."

Oops.

Fortunately, I'm guessing she figured the guy in plain sight, with a photo ID clipped to his belt, paying by credit card, probably wasn't really robbing a bank later. So I finally said I was an actor and needed the mask for a role.

It's true, even if it's a bit overstating my range compared with the actors I've had the privilege to work with on "Dead Hunt."

Either way, I found a suitable mask. Not quite what I was looking for, but it's black and it covers my face, and it actually looks kind of cool. I tried it on... at the gas station. In Newark, New Jersey. I'm thinking that wasn't a bright idea, either, since I guess it's the kind of mask you could rob a minimart in, too. And someone probably has.

It's hot as hell, by the way, so I can see why Westley was wrong in "Princess Bride" and masks never caught on as a fashion trend.

So watch for my Hopkins-esque moment of fame when you buy "Dead Hunt," coming this fall from Timewarp Films. (end blatant promo mode)

Hopkins, by the way, is not a reference to Sir Anthony ("Don't Call Me Hannibal"). It's a "Crucible" reference. Ever seen "The Crucible," by the late Arthur Miller?

There's a character in it named Hopkins, who has exactly one line.

Which, assuming I don't get cut from DH, is the same number I'll have had in my last two acting performances. Thank God I didn't try acting for a living. One line in "Lysistrata" in college, one line in DH.

And to think, when Bloomsburg High School actually put on "The Crucible," way back when, I had the lead. (making me one of two guys involved in DH who played John Proctor. the other was Justin Timpane, who I've mentioned.)

I know, I know, don't quit your night job.

Funny story: One of the last rehearsals for "Crucible," the director let us use our scripts so we could focus on blocking, emoting, etc., rather than memorization. And I shit you not, the girl playing Hopkins walked out on stage, opened her script, and read her line. EVERYBODY ELSE in the cast knew the line. And it's not like it was a run-on sentence, even. Just subject-verb.

"The deputy governor has arrived."

See, I still remember it, and it's been what? 14 years? Hell, I don't remember my line from "Lysistrata," and it was MY line.

Another random "Crucible" story: The summer after my star turn, Tony Randall's theater company put on "The Crucible" as its first-ever production (remember that whole "not editing" bit? first-ever! hah!). Reviewers savaged it, with one suggesting it was no better than a good high school production, despite the presence of Martin Sheen as Proctor, Michael York and Fritz Weaver, among others.

So my parents took me to see the show. And there, in the program, we see a member of the Bloomsburg Theatre Ensemble (a well-known troupe in my hometown) has joined Randall's company. Not even one of the prominent ones, really, and yet there he is on Broadway. My parents' shock was tempered somewhat when they looked him up in the Playbill.

He was playing Hopkins.

For the curious, after the show, I asked my father whose version was better - after all, I was in a good high school production - and regrettably, even with the nepotism factor, Martin Sheen won.

I'm guessing he'd have gotten more than one line in DH, too. What can I say? He is, after all, president of the United States.

(snark mode: May my kids play better hockey than Emilio and have even more sex than Charlie.)

Links:
Timewarp Films
The script for "Princess Bride"
A research guide to "The Crucible"
Information about Arthur Miller
National Actors Theatre, which appears, sadly, to be defunct, at least Web-wise
The Bloomsburg Theatre Ensemble
Andrew Hubatsek, Hopkins himself
Martin Sheen, on "The West Wing"
The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim
(Four Seasons Ski & Snowboard Shop folks, feel free to leave a comment and a link if you've got a Web site. My condolences on the tragedy.)

Random Civil War trivia of the day: There was a general whose real given name (I couldn't make this up) was States Rights Gist. Thank goodness he was a Confederate. Could you imagine, since many people say the Civil War started over states' rights (as opposed to slavery, the specific right in question), if he'd wound up fighting for the Union? That would've been tough to explain to his fellow generals. Imagine Bob Shepperd intoning, "Now batting for the Yankees, the shortstop, number 2, Red Sox Jeter. Jeter, number 2." General Gist, by the way, had the misfortune to follow John Bell Hood, the unluckiest general I've encountered thus far, to the battle of Franklin, where he became Bullet Catcher Gist. If I read the photo captions right (I haven't finished the book yet), Hood got six of his generals killed in five hours at Franklin. I call Hood unlucky, by the way, because he managed to lose both the use of an arm and half of a leg in combat. Even worse, he lost the use of his LEFT arm and part of his RIGHT leg. So that must've been damn inconvenient, them not even being on the same freakin' side. THAT, my friends, is bad luck.

Well, that didn't last long.

I know, you're probably thinking, "Wow, that whole post-a-day thing lasted exactly a week."

But I have a good excuse: Remember that movie, "Dead Hunt"? (Well, you will when it comes out on DVD and you see it - trust me!) This weekend we wrapped up the primary shooting (except for a couple of days for a few scenes) and it was really a lot of fun - but I wasn't online, and thus, no blog.

(If you have no idea what I'm talking about, see the post called "Why Ann Marie Barbour kicks ass" below.)

So, considering Friday night I spent more time in the car than in anything vaguely resembling a bed, followed that with the rest of a whole night's sleep, and then suffered from a caffeine overdose last night (keeps me awake for the drive home, then keeps me awake when I get home...) I'm a little too wiped out for a really good entry.

So you'll get a random observation, and a small, strange story. Then I'm going to get the first decent night's sleep I've had in a while. After I play some Gran Turismo.

First, the random observation - among the many tolls I've paid between Hillsborough/Newark and Baltimore/Timonium/Annapolis, I've reached the conclusion that Delaware has the most attractive female toll collectors. I saw several pretty, fairly young women at toll booths over the past few months (frankly, the first I've ever seen at any toll booths), and all of them worked at the same toll plaza on I-95, the one at the Delaware/Maryland line. Not quite sure what to make of it, except that maybe I should have gone to the University of Delaware.

And the story: There I am, at 1 a.m. Monday morning, driving through Princeton at the end of my long trip home, when I get pulled over by a Princeton police officer. Now, I'm just awake enough to be pretty sure I didn't do anything wrong, and just tired enough to find myself wondering if I ran a stop sign or something - that's a looooooooong wait when the cops have that bright light shining into your car and you're sitting there waiting for Mr. Officer to amble up to your window; I'm pretty sure they do that to scare the crap out of you.

So the officer ambles up, gets the license and registration, etc., and I sort of befuddledly (is that a word?) asked him if I'd done anything wrong, thinking the entire time of the scene in "Dave" when Dave, driving the First Lady around, makes a left at a no-left-turn intersection.

Did I run a stop sign, as I feared? Was I speeding, perhaps? I had passed the officer driving fairly close behind a fairly slow-moving car in what I would guess is a 25 zone.

Nope, turned out the light that illuminates the license plate on my car had burned out (after 125,000 miles and five years, I might point out, possibly making it the most durable part on my entire Mitsubishi). He let me off with a verbal warning (thank you, Officer, if you're reading this!), especially when I told him the most coincidental thing: I had an appointment at the dealer this morning anyway, to get my oil changed and tires rotated.

Maybe I'll make my next post about the perils of buying a car in the first year of a redesign. Of all the grief my "Baby" has put me through, I get pulled over for a burned-out microbulb. Figures.

One more thought before naptime: North Carolina State upset defending champion Connecticut in the NCAA tournament, and my co-workers are all mystified why I'm so enthused, despite the fact I had UConn winning in my (very poorly chosen) pool.

Simple: When March Madness rolls around, a guy who went to a Division III school has precious little to root for, unlike, say, all the journalists from that factory up in Syracuse. Except, Carnegie Mellon produced, among its more famous alumni, Holly Hunter.

She, of course, is very short and so has nothing to do with the NCAA tournament. But a lesser-known CMU alum has plenty to do with it.

He's Herb Sendek, the coach of N.C. State.

Carnegie Mellon, by the way, last I heard from my buddy MTC, was in the D-III equivalent of the NIT (which is better than they ever did when I was there, doing the sports editor thing). Unfortunately, MTC went on vacation, and when I finally got around to looking, they'd already lost. Too bad. Still, a great season, no doubt! Funny, I only had the minimum of school pride, mostly in the soccer teams, which I covered, but I found myself caught up in MTC's enthusiasm - he still works there, in the Intramural department.

I'll have to tell the story about how I got back in contact with MTC later, too. It's a "small world" kind of deal. You'll like it. And it comes with a good story about a bench-clearing brawl in IM football!

Links:
Timewarp Films
A little about the Delaware Turnpike
The Princeton Borough police department
CMU men's basketball
CMU intramurals
N.C. State men's basketball
Coach Herb Sendek

I know, that's a lot of links, but you're talking to a guy who got an Arthur Miller "Crucible" reference into a slasher film script. I like those kinds of connections.

Coincidence? Dismissed as chance.

My latest evidence that no good deed goes unpunished involves World of Wonder - an awesome educational tool put together by graphic artist Laurie Triefeldt that appears in the newspaper I work for.

I always tell Laurie I must be World of Wonder's oldest reader (it's aimed at school kids) but I just love it - there's a different topic every week, with lots of great examples and illustrations. If you're lucky, your newspaper runs it, because it's syndicated. And if your newspaper doesn't run it, it should! Call them and tell them.

Anyway, there is a World of Wonder book out now, compiling some of the best pages, including ones on dinosaurs, sharks, undersea life, shipwrecks, hockey, baseball and numerous other favorite topics of mine. Needless to say, I snapped up more than one - mostly as gifts for young people in my life.

One of the books I intended as a donation to the Children's Museum in my hometown of Bloomsburg, Pa. My mother has volunteered for them since the very beginning, maybe 25 years, and I can't tell you enough how much I admire her for putting in so much time and receiving nary a cent in return.

As they say in "The Rock," I'm a mercenary. And mercenaries GET PAID!

Still, I try to support the Museum in whatever way I can, so I mailed the book, and that's when the trouble started.

First, I put the wrong address on the package. That's OK, Bloomsburg's a small town and my mother told the post office guys it was coming. Shouldn't be a problem, or so I figured.

The other books I sent arrived intact, and still no book in Bloomsburg. So I asked the mailroom folks. And (after they told me I probably shouldn't have mailed them from work - it was their idea, honest!) they said some of the books took a long time to arrive.

Of course, the next day, it arrived. At the newspaper. Returned why? Not for the wrong address. But for insufficient postage.

The odd thing, the (have I mentioned very nice?) mailroom folks said, was that the package not only had sufficient postage, it had too much!

(If you're wondering why I haven't mentioned where I work yet, I'm not going to. I like my job way too much to lose it in some blog-related fiasco over a $2.66 package. Rat me out, and I won't be able to afford the wireless Internet I use to write this blog, so it'll be your loss, too! Remember that. I love my job, Mr. Owner, Mr. Publisher and Mr. Editor! Please don't hurt me!)

OK, groveling done, I'll just point out that this time, I'm going to hand-deliver the package, since I'm going up to Bloomsburg in a couple of weeks. It just seems safer.

Of course, I'll only be going home when I'm done going to Maryland (to shoot the film, see the posts below on that) and that brings to me to an even stranger incident.

So I'm down in Maryland a couple of weeks ago, with my buddy Ed Hayes, my roommate from CMU. We visited the set (and nearly caused a disaster, but that's a story best left in the "untold" drawer of the "road to hell is paved with good intentions" file) and then drove back in the middle of the night.

On I-95 on the way back, we stopped at the cheerfully named Maryland House rest stop for a bit of gas and a bit of food (and probably, subsequently, a bit of gas - ba-dum-bum).

I'm in line at the fast-food spot when I notice lining up behind me is the Rider College hockey team, which is from the Princeton area, near where I live. Funny, I think to myself, we're driving the exact same route back - in fact, I'll pass Rider on the way home.

Then I remember Ed's younger brother, Brian, goes to that college.

Then I remember he plays hockey.

And then I see Ed bee-lining across the rest stop toward the team. And sure enough, there's Brian.

So, at 12:30 a.m., at a rest stop 200 miles from home, returning from the filming of the first movie I've ever been involved in, with the only guest I've ever brought to the set, we run into not just someone we know, but a relative, who's in Maryland, unknown to either of us, for a completely different reason.

Tell me that's not the strangest thing you've ever heard.

I mean, there's another rest stop about 30 miles up the road. If we'd stopped there, none of that would have ever happened. If we got out of the set 30 minutes earlier or later, none of that would have ever happened. If we hadn't gone at all, or had gone the next day, or Rider hadn't played Maryland-Baltimore County, any number of a million other factors, nothing!

What are the odds of that?

Buy your own World of Wonder book
The Children's Museum
Rider ice hockey

And, yes, if you're wondering, I realized I misspelled Spotsylvania in the Civil War post. Yes, it's driving me nuts. No, I won't correct it. I'm sticking to this post-a-day, no-editing thing as long as I can, damn it.

Why Ann Marie Barbour kicks ass!

Yes, this is two posts in one day, thereby setting up an unreasonable expectation not seen since the time I got a 4.0 first semester freshman year, a mark never to be repeated. In fact, I never came close, even if I got the word "honors" somewhere on the degree.

Creative writing, if you're wondering. As my pal Phillip Gomez put it, we got a B.A. in B.S.

And by the way, my goal is a post a day. Reality? You'll be lucky to get one a week, but I'm an optimist, you know. I'm also addicted to Gran Turismo 4, so take your chances.

But you're probably wondering about the title. After all, what does Ann Marie Barbour, actress, mother and sometime QVC hostess, have to do with me?

Well, this is the post about my movie.

And "Why Ann Marie Barbour kicks ass!" seemed like a much better title than "My movie." In my other life, I write headlines for a living, and I know what sells a story and what doesn't.

By the way, I suppose technically it's not *my* movie. It's Timewarp Films' movie. But I wrote it, or at least most of it. And since this is my blog, as far as we're concerned, it's mine.

And Ann Marie Barbour is one of the stars. She plays Sari, who's named after my friend Sari. That didn't come out right. But you know what I mean.

Now, this post could just as easily have been called "Why Dennis Hill kicks ass!" or "Why Colleen Taylor kicks ass!" or "Why Justin Timpane kicks ass!" But Justin already got his post today. And I just like saying "Ann Marie Barbour." Yes, I read these out loud to myself as I write. Sue me.

And hey, if you're MISTER Barbour, no, I'm not a stalker. I'm a screenwriter. Put down the gun.

OK, first things first. I'm a screenwriter (I said that) among my other writing jobs. I got my start back at CMU, where I took Sharon Dilworth's Study of Forms: Screenwriting class (or maybe it was Survey of Forms, it's been a while. point is...). Then, under Professor Dilworth's no-doubt-amused guidance, I wrote a full-length screenplay for my senior honors project. It's not bad, but it needs some rewriting.

So one day I was sitting around, dreaming, as I often do, of a way I could finally get my writing published, and therefore justify all the money my parents paid for that CMU degree. Well, I thought, why not write another script? So I did, and I entered it in a contest.

I didn't win, or I wouldn't be writing this post.

Because this post isn't about that script. It's about the next one: "Dead Hunt."

Now, I'm not giving anything away about the movie - you'll have to buy the DVD when it comes out. And yes, that's a blatant bit of self-promotion. There's money in it for me somehow, though I'm not sure how, because I didn't read my contract that closely.

Anyway... point is, my friend Joe Ripple, one-half of Timewarp Films and the director for whom I wrote the script, has let me hang around the set (where I've tried my best to make myself useful) and I even got a small part in the movie.

No, now that I think about it (there's that stream-of-consciousness thing I'm going for again) that's not the point. The point is...

This has been one of the greatest experiences of my life.

So yes, these are rose-colored glasses I'm looking through. It's only fair to point out, in the interests of disclosure, that this is a straight-to-DVD B-horror movie.

But it's going to be great! Trust me on this. You just wait and see. I can't wait, honestly, and I've seen!

So let's sum up why I picked that title:

Because being on set with the cast and crew has been awesome. I really can't describe it. I'd love to work with Timewarp again, but if this is a once-in-a-lifetime deal, I'll take it and love every minute of it. Even the ones when I'm driving to and from Maryland in the middle of the night (I live in Jersey. three hours, door-to-door. I could do it in my sleep. and have.).

They're not even done filming yet, so keep those virtual fingers virtually crossed for me - but I just want it up front: Everyone involved kicks ass!

This didn't quite come out as well as I'd hoped, which is a shame, because the title is so enticing. But I don't want to do a name-by-name list of everyone who kicks ass and why. Somebody'd get mad.

So when "Dead Hunt" hits DVD, buy it. And when you get to the end, watch the credits. And know that each and every name on that list was awesome to work with and has my eternal gratitude. Their talents, you can see for yourself. I can only hope my script does those talents justice.

God, what an experience. I can't say enough about Joe Ripple and Don Dohler letting me come along for the ride. If you're an actor, within driving distance of Maryland, go work for Timewarp. They do quality stuff and they're class acts all the way.

God, what a thrill this has been. I wish you all could feel the way I do. Just a few more weeks of filming, then the long summer of waiting for the DVD. I'll miss it. I always loved the camaraderie of acting, and being on set, I really felt like I belonged, and I really felt like I was part of something special. I hope you'll feel the same way when you see the film. Joe and Don and the awesome cast deserve no less, no matter what you think I deserve.

On the list of great adventures in my life, I daresay this is No. 2, behind only the night I got engaged, which remains, to this day, the happiest night of my life.

No, I never got married, but that, like the trip to the lesbian bar from the other post, is a story for another day.

Links:
www.timewarpfilms.com

And hey, "DH" actors and crew: If you've got a Web site, post a comment with it. I have this fantasy that important people may read this blog someday, and maybe one of them will be a talent agent! Remember me when you're famous!

I wish I were a music video director.

This is my first post on my first blog. Not much of an introduction, but I've finally found the inspiration to write this stream of consciousness blog. My grammar won't be perfect, because I'm not at work, but hopefully you'll enjoy anyway.

My inspiration? Music.

I have had three friends in this life who are published musicians. Is "published" the right word? I'm a writer, so I'm going with it.

The first was Paul Tabachneck. I haven't seen Paul in years, but back in college at Carnegie Mellon, he had a band called Stone Soup. I think there's another band called Stone Soup, but this isn't them.

Paul and I were editors together on the Tartan, which is CMU's college newspaper. Anyway, after Paul quit as a section editor, he wound up on my copy staff. The proofreading lounge at the Tartan had this huge, world's-most-comfortable couch, and every now and then, Paul (and Victor, another proofreader) would put on a little impromptu concert.

The song he used to play was called "She the 4th (Andrew Got Another Lover)" and it's probably a joke only CMU students would get (the Andrew part. you had to be there). Anyway, one day, a while after I'd left CMU, I was visting Pittsburgh, and I found Stone Soup's "Self-Titled Debut" in the local music section of a CD store. So, seeing the title of the song (which I'd never known, but knew it was the right song) I bought the CD and I still mix that track onto driving music CDs.

I hope Paul's off making music somewhere. His stuff wasn't really my taste in music, to be honest, but that song was great. I'm sure you'll hear more about my misadventures at CMU in the future. If I keep this blog up.

My second friend who makes music is Heather Shayne Blakeslee. Blake and I went to school together in Bloomsburg, and she went on to be a folk-rock singer in New York, and then Philadelphia. I was the valedictorian in the Class of '92, by about 00.01 of a percent, and she was salutatorian. I'm not sure who is more embarrassed about that.

Anyway, Blake chased down her dream, God bless her, and she's got two CDs out, one called "Bones" and the new one called "Treon's Cut Rate."

I'm lousy with music, and I don't rightly know if it's fair to call her stuff folk-rock, but that's what I do. Think Indigo Girls, or Melissa Etheridge. If you like them - and I do, despite myself - you'd like Blake.

My favorite Blakeslee song is "The Ballad of Anna Mae," from Bones, and eventually remixed onto an EP she promised to send me but hasn't yet. "The Ballad of Anna Mae" would make a killer frontier-farm-Cold Mountain-horse-and-cotton-dress-and-hat kind of music video. I mean, killer. I wish I were a music video director. I've got the entire thing in my head. It would be absolutely killer, with horses and cowboys and this clearing in the woods and a ghost!

Blakeslee kicks ass and should make it big. She's got a beautiful voice, and "Snowing in Stroudsburg," off TCR, always makes me think of home, even if home is Bloomsburg and not Stroudsburg. Close enough. What a beautiful song. I think it's replaced "Opiates and Envy" as my second-favorite Blakeslee song.

Remind me to tell you the story of how I went to see Blake play in the lesbian bar.

Anyway, the other reason I'm writing this is because I just got another CD from a friend. This one's by a guy named Justin Timpane, who's an actor in the movie I'm working on with Timewarp Films. More on that in another post.

Anyway, Justin did the soundtrack for the previous film from the company, "Crawler," and he gave me a copy today (no, the movie's not out yet). Apparently, he's done a bunch of CDs, but I don't know - I only met him on this film.

Anyway, the first song on the soundtrack is a song called "Crawl." (Yes, I started three graphs in a row with "anyway," sue me. I'm not at work, I can write however I feel like. I told you this was stream of consciousness.)

Back to "Crawl." I'm going all-caps here for emphasis.

WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH "CRAWL" KICKS ASS.

I put the CD on in my car at 5 p.m. and by the time I turned it off an hour and a half later, I'd played "Crawl" about a dozen times. (It's about 3 minutes, I'd guess.)

This song kicks ass.

It's perfect. I love it. (Well, almost perfect, I wish the whispered words at the end were a bit louder; I'm a writer, I love lyrics.)

This song kicks so much ass, I'm jealous I had nothing to do with "Crawler" because I want to play this song for everyone I know and I wish I could say it went with my movie. But it doesn't. I wish my movie had a song that cool.

Look, let's be honest, I've got bad taste in music. I own CDs by Tiffany, Debbie Gibson and Richard Marx. I shit you not. But I know good music when I see it, and this is good music. This is more than good music, this is great music.

By the way, of the three names dropped above, two have appeared naked in Playboy. Aren't you glad Richard Marx isn't one of them? Hey, "Hazard" kicks ass. But "Ballad of Anna Mae" is better. Same idea, though, just less pop kitsch and more haunting beauty.

Back to "Crawl." How can I describe it? I don't know. I don't know shit about music. It's rock, pseudo-metal, the kind with lots of guitars where you turn up the volume, open the sunroof and just let it play while you bob your head and thump the steering wheel.

It made me think of Bolt Thrower, except Bolt Thrower was insanely disappointing and this was just so frickin' awesome.

I turned up the volume at every intersection, on the off chance a record producer would pull up next to me in Princeton, roll down his window and say, "Who is that?" And then I'd tell him, because if there's any justice in the world, some record producer is going to read this and take my word for it and check this song out and make Justin rich.

(Make Blake rich, too, but it's a whole different kind of music.)

OK, here's how to think about it: I got to this bar called QXT in Newark. It's a Goth bar, and my friends Sari and Luisa take me. I have half a mind to take "Crawl" to QXT and try and bribe the DJ to play it because it would fit right in there. It's dark, pounding rock, the kind I love.

Perfect driving music. This one's going to be on a lot of mixes of mine.

By the way, one more reason I wish I were a music video director: Play "Crawl" and just film the Goth girls in plaid skirts and purple hair dancing to it at QXT. Oh. My. God.

And oh, my God, does this song kick ass. I can't even think of anything better to say, and I've got a degree in creative writing.

I've got to talk to Justin about his other CDs. The soundtrack to "Crawler" is great - even if I didn't get through it all because I listened to "Crawl" so much - but instrumental stuff doesn't make good driving music, and that's when I listen to music, in the car.

If the rest of his CDs are like "Crawl," I'll buy every one. Yes, I figure he'd probably give them to me for free, but I'm not above paying money to support my friends. Ask Blake.

And yeah, when my movie hits DVD, I'm making my friends buy it. There's money at stake there! I only get paid if we make a profit! (insert smiley face here)

So, to sum up: Record producers, e-mail me! I've found the perfect song. Between Blake and Justin, maybe I can have a finder's fee? I could use the money.

Links (no, I don't have a clue how to make HTML in this thing):
www.heathershayneblakeslee.com
www.timewarpfilms.com
www.timpane.com

I'm not editing this or spell-checking it. Screw that. It's my day off.