Proximity alert

I know, I've been slacking. I've been busy.

And this past weekend, I was away. And that's what's inspiring the post, so don't complain that I'm slacking, okay, Bubba?

Anyway, I was in Washington, D.C., to see my folks, who were at the every-10-years international mega-stamp show there. I always enjoy those shows, though my stamp collecting is quite limited.

(I'm a topical collector, if you must know, but only a half-hearted one. I buy hockey stamps. When the mood strikes me.)

I'm getting way off topic. The point is, I was in Washington. With my folks. And while I was there, we went to the Museum of Natural History (surprisingly near the hotel), which is right up the road from the White House and Capitol and stuff.

And you know what that museum is chock full of? Science. That's right. The stuff the president doesn't believe in. Things like million-year-old space rocks. I even made the joke that I was surprised Bush allowed this sort of thing so close to his house.

You know, because he's one of those idiots who doesn't believe in science.

Look, I have little doubt President Bush is earnest and loyal and well-meaning. He's not unlike my (late, lamented) dachshund that way. But, like Morgan, he's also dumber than a bag of wet mice.

But what truly scares me, upon reflection about this juxtaposition of science and stupidity, is that Bush is just so damn ignorant.

That's dangerous.

I can live with his politics and policies, though I don't agree with much of them. I mean, he won, if not fair and square, at least when it counted. I can live with him being kind of dumb. There are plenty of morons out there, and it's only fair they be represented in the District, too.

But I've had enough of the sheer ignorance the man displays.

Evolution as an open debate. Global warming as a theory.

For God's sake, schoolchildren know better. And this is the leader of the free world. And, frankly, if he had his way, schoolchildren WOULDN'T know better. Bad enough he's screwing up the world for all of us - at this rate, he's screwing it up for generations to come.

I mean, this zealot talks about scientific fact like it's bogus because it's not in the Bible.

For starters, I'm not taking the word of a C student in the humanities at Yale over the word of Harvard and MIT professors.

Second of all, while I'm not one of those radicals who thinks the Bible is fiction based on reality (guys, "The Da Vinci Code" is fiction based on reality, let's get it straight), I think if it is the word of God, it's the word of God written down by somebody else. And as any interviewee who's ever been misquoted can attest, not every journalist, even the good ones, gets it exactly right.

Besides, who are we to say how long God's days are? God created the universe in six days and watched football on the seventh? What if God's days are a million of our years? I haven't seen him to ask, but I mean, really... who knows? The Pope? Bush? Anybody?

Bush is an oilman, right? And oil is a fossil fuel. What does he think the fossils are of? Adam and Eve? It's the freakin' dinosaurs or whatever.

I'd like to think it's political, partisan kowtowing to his right-wingnut base. But he really does seem sincere in his beliefs.

Look, I don't begrudge anyone their beliefs. As the cliche goes, opinions are like assholes: Everybody has one, and nobody wants to know about anybody else's.

But when those beliefs are ruinous to our country, ruinous to our youth and insulting to our intelligence to boot, then, I have a problem.

The next time this ignorant mook spouts off about science being bogus, I hope somebody verbally, intelligently, eloquently smacks him upside his stupid chimpanzee head. He's an evil munkee and must be stopped.

Links:
• Washington 2006, through Saturday
• The Museum of Natural History, right under Bush's chimpanzee nose
• The Office of Science and Technology Policy
• Science vs. Politics, Christian Science Monitor-style
• Science vs. Politics, MSNBC-style
• And of course, Bush or Chimp?

Random bit of D.C. trivia: I saw posters for two mayoral candidates, one named Orange and one named Brown. I'm not kidding.

• Vincent Orange
• Michael Brown