The it's-about-time About Me post

Yeah, I know, a year-plus into this thing, I never got around to an "About Me" post. I meant to, honest.

So tonight's episode of Insomniac Dinner Theatre will have to serve.

By the way, I made a MySpace page and it has a blog, but for now I'm sticking with this one. The sad thing is, that MySpace blog has these cool little mood icons you can pick for each post to say what kind of mood you're in. I wish this one had them, I think they're neat. I'll have to find some little munkee icons and use them. Like "happymunkee" and "sadmunkee" and so forth. I want icons.

But back to About Me.

I saw something on somebody's blog once that was basically a list of 100 facts about them. I'd give credit where credit is due, but frankly, I can't remember where I saw it. Might have been Norman or maybe Lesley or maybe even Crystal. Or somebody else. I dunno. But the point was, it was just a list of 100 random facts about the person writing it.

So here goes. 100 bits of information, in the order they pop into my tired-but-not-sleepy brain.

See how many you knew!

Oh, and Mom, you might not want to read this one. You know enough about me already.

About Me:
1. I am adopted.
2. I was born in Vietnam.
3. I'm Jewish. Yup, a Vietnamese Jew. See #1.
4. I was valedictorian of my high school class.
5. The only fruit I like is berries. All kinds.
6. The only vegetables I like are potatoes and corn. Not necessarily together.
7. I studied creative writing in college.
8. I'm a journalist.
9. I once answered a job interview question, "why do you want to do this (here)?" by saying "because I'm good at it."
10. The only beat I've ever covered was college soccer.
11. I have some mild clinical depression, but what really bugs the shit out of me is my undiagnosed obsessive/compulsive streak.
12. I love the Oakland Raiders. But I love the sport of hockey more than the sport of football.
13. I got engaged to my college sweetheart.
14. I've never been married.
15. I played almost exactly two minutes of varsity soccer in high school.
16. In a decade of playing soccer, the only goal I ever scored came in an exhibition game, from midfield, on a clearance, because the goalie wasn't paying attention.
17. I have more stuffed monkeys than any postpubescent person I know.
18. I make a girl I know help me buy clothes so I'll look better on dates.
19. Everyone at work thinks I'm ambitious, but I'm not. I'm just competitive.
20. I tried to shake my DVD addiction by buying a 200-disc changer, and vowing never to own more discs than would fit in it, forcing me to sell the extras and think carefully before buying new ones. I bought a 300-disc changer when I filled the 200. Then bought a 400 when I filled the 300.
21. I had a mullet in high school. Now I have a buzz cut.
22. I think #21 probably counts as two.
23. I've been in love twice.
24. I still miss them both every day.
25. I wrote a movie! Yay!
26. My psychologist says I can tell the difference between fantasy and reality, I just prefer fantasy. She's right.
27. My lower legs are deformed.
28. (Thus) I have really bad knees.
29. My skin is different colors so parts of me look dirty even though I loofah regularly.
30. My teeth are slightly yellow, though I've never smoked (regularly).
31. I had my first cigarette at 13.
32. I lost my virginity at 16.
33. I've been accused of being an alcoholic twice.
34. I have the nagging suspicion I'm going to hell for the things I've done.
35. When my friends committed (relatively minor) crimes growing up, I was usually the lookout.
36. I love horror movies. Heck, I love movies, period. But mostly ones with blood and boobs and explosions.
37. I've bought porn for friends who don't want it shipped to their house.
38. Like most men, I'm fascinated by the female anatomy. But I mean, really fascinated. Like anatomically curious. Or just plain mystified.
39. Some days I'm too mature. Some days I'm too juvenile.
40. I've had a stunning amount of kinky sex for someone who's often mistaken for a social loser. Most people, or at least the ones I know, have a far duller sex life than I would've expected.
41. I'm the third- or fourth-biggest Asian most people I know, know.
42. I'm 5'9" and on the wrong side of 200 pounds.
43. I dream of having a library in my house. With real wooden shelves and all that.
44. If I won the lottery, I know more ways I'd give away money than ways I'd spend it.
45. I'm afraid of spiders and heights.
46. And dying old and alone.
47. And that, if I ever go back to Vietnam, they won't let me leave.
48. I want to buy a gun and learn to shoot, but I'm afraid I'll kill myself, either accidentally or intentionally.
49. A girl at a party once called me "cute enough."
50. I hate shaving.
51. I like doing laundry. I like the smell of it drying.
52. I used to drive past this bread factory near where I lived, and I'd roll down the windows just to smell the bread baking.
53. In the days before Columbine, all my high school friends wore black trenchcoats.
54. The second one I've owned still hangs in my closet.
55. I ruined my serve when I hurt my shoulder playing tennis in high school.
56. I'm athletic, but grotesquely out of shape.
57. I have a serious earwax problem. I can barely hear out of one ear.
58. In the dozen years I've been buying Blood Bowl miniatures, I've managed to paint one team.
59. I can't sing. But I do anyway, when no one's around.
60. I can go years without sex, and it doesn't really bother me, but when I'm getting some, I can't get enough.
61. When my (late, lamented) dog was a puppy, when he'd poop, he'd look back over his shoulder, all embarassed, to see if I was watching him. I was.
62. I play Dungeons & Dragons. I've been doing it since I was 8.
63. The first really great toy I remember having was actually just a giant cardboard box from my parents' replacement furnace. I made a fort out of it.
64. "Star Wars" inspired my imagination all through childhood, and to this day.
65. Some days, I think I really am a male lesbian. I like girls, but I envy them in so many ways that sometimes I wish I were one just for the "cool" factor.
66. I don't sleep well, but I love sleeping.
67. I love two kinds of food: the really great kind and the really bad kind.
68. I wear glasses, and I hate them.
69. I have a little bump on my nose that's been there for years and won't go away no matter what I do to it.
70. Pneumonia put me in the hospital in college for one night, my only overnight stay.
71. I was in a fraternity in college, and none of my "cooler" friends were.
72. I ran for editor of my college paper, lost in a landslide, and was glad.
73. I'm good at my job, but I'd rather do something else.
74. Jews can't get tattoos, but I really want one. Or more. If I were a girl, I'd have them already, because I think they look much better on girls.
75. I was eager to get married and have a family when I was 21. Now that I'm 31, not so much.
76. My house has three toilets. I only have one ass, so it's always seemed like a waste.
77. Most of my furniture is green because I have no idea how to decorate so I only buy things that match.
78. I have the sinking feeling I'll never read all the books I own, but I keep buying more.
79. Can't cook anything more complicated than a pound of ground beef and a box o' stuff.
80. Of all the things I've collected, media guides are the only ones that have stuck through my life.
81. I'm a spender, not a saver, which is why I have credit-card debt.
82. I'm a moderate-to-liberal Democrat, very conservative on some things, very liberal on others.
83. I root for the Yankees because of my father.
84. I get Flyers season tickets with my best friend, but I'm really a Penguins fan.
85. My best friend's wife thought I was HIS one normal friend, so I had to tell her it's the other way around.
86. I pay people to clean my house, partly out of laziness and partly because I'd rather have a professional do it.
87. I've never mowed a lawn.
88. I'm not handy at all, despite my Basic Locksmithing diploma.
89. Strip clubs suck, unless I'm drunk. Then they rock.
90. I could say the same thing about dance clubs.
91. I'm a "boob" guy, but more and more lately, I can see "butt" guys' point.
92. A teacher called me introspective once, and meant it as a compliment, but sometimes I think it is a curse.
93. My imagination dreams up little fantasy worlds all the time, but they've seldom helped my writing.
94. I'm scared that when I'm finally tested, I'll fail. And I'm scared that's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
95. I'm always late, and I lie about why a lot.
96. Otherwise, I'm too honest (or obvious, one of the two) for my own good.
97. I talk like a cynic, but deep down I'm a raging optimist. It's my not-so-inner child.
98. I often believe I'm the luckiest person ever.
99. And I often believe either my luck ran out years ago, or I'm blowing my good fortune.
100. Last, but not least, I dream of having a robot monkey that would follow me around, entertain me and perform useful tasks with its prehensile tail. I'm serious. That would rock.

Wow, you made it to the end! Yay! Now you know all About Me.

(101. I could, depressingly, go on. I guess I like talking about myself more than I usually care to admit, or perhaps I'm just as fascinated by myself as I am by girls and how dachshunds poop. It's kind of a confessional feeling, making this list, in a good way.)

Mood: Strange. Or Sleepy.