From shilling to complete pimping, and a suppository, too

OK, I'm going to post a link to my suppository story, which I've already told the first two-thirds of, already at the risk of TMI, and don't want to gross you out by telling the last third of (people, it's about my ass, you don't want to read it).

Why a rerun?

Well, basically so I have an excuse to once again pimp out what is undoubtedly, and with all due respect to the bloggers I adore, the hands-down funniest blog I read.

Today's story literally had me laughing so hard, and so long, I couldn't breathe. I was crying, people. Shaking. You know, that kind of laughter.

And for those of you who either a) don't read my blogroll; or b) didn't actually wander over here from there... I encourage you, if you want a good laugh, to check this one out.

Thus, the transition:

... And speaking of suppositories...

Go read the March 12 edition of Boobs, Injuries and Dr Pepper.

It's a two-parter, one short and one long, and if you don't laugh your ass off (pun intended), well, check your damn pulse.

To borrow a phrase from the Lucky Monkey Casino, "Guaranteed fun, or your monkey back!"

(Ahem... transition Part Deux...)

Speaking of whoring out sites: Since I know damn well y'all ignore my Google and Amazon ads, let me encourage you to take the pennies you're not spending here over to Jintrinsique and chip 'em in to her tip jar. Or at least order some cookies and brownies. They're damn tasty and arrive right quick.

Support small business. Support good bloggers and food porn. And for the love of God, support accidental cleavage.

And yes, I've ordered twice myself. And tossed in a tip. I wouldn't ask you to do anything I haven't.

And finally, my complete, 91.3% guilt-free Web site pimping and whoredom wouldn't be complete without encouraging you sports fans to wander over and send some money to the Raiderfans.net server donation drive. These people publish me, for crying out loud! They let me cover the Oakland Raiders! (Next stop, NFL Draft 2007! Can you say "JaMarcus Russell"? I knew you could...) Help a brother out!

On an offline and thus off-topic-and-yet-not note, while it's not too late to get a tax deduction for the current tax year, have you thought about contributing to The Children's Museum of Bloomsburg, Pa., a bona fide nonprofit organization that is dedicated to educating the children of my home town and region?

And thus, preventing them from growing up to be degenerates like me.

Hey, that's three causes. Send 'em each $2 and it's like one venti frap from Starbucks. Not to mention, sending it to them instead of the Big Coffee Megagod is probably better for both your conscience and your waistline.

Unless, of course, you send more to Jin, and she sends you raspberry brownies. In which case, it might be worse for your waistline, but for God's sake, take a lesson from me, and if you're going to get fat, get fat by eating wonderfully!

We now resume our regularly scheduled program.