There's never enough time...

That's a "Timecop" joke. If you haven't seen it (and judging from the profit margin, you haven't), never mind.

I was just thinking as I procrastinate here that there's never enough time to get things done that I need to get done. Especially when I don't want to do them.

Even the things I enjoy, sometimes I don't feel like doing, you know? But I'm up against deadlines. Not just at work, but every day, it feels like. If it's not one thing, it's another.

I'm trying to do a work-related project that's starting to both freak me out and annoy the crap out of me.

I'm trying to get into the playoffs in my Strat league. (To borrow a phrase from a short play I wrote in college, "He's not going to make it.")

And I've got two HorrorTalk reviews to edit.

All this by the time I go to work Friday, which is about 60 hours from now. In fact, I've got to get most of it done by the time I go to work Thursday, which is about 36 hours from now.

And I'm totally unmotivated. Well, I'm motivated. I've got both professional pride and a playoff berth at stake. But the odds are long on success at either. So I'm not that motivated.

Oh, and I should be working on a review myself. Plus I got a movie I want to watch.

Plus, I want to play with iTunes. I got my tax rebate today, and that could be a cure for my iPod envy. I like my little Rio, but if it doesn't work right with the software, I'm not getting the most out of the experience. To eBay with ya, my little companion.

So if anybody wants to buy a 5GB Rio Carbon, post a comment. PayPal accepted.

Speaking of my property tax rebate, darn you acting Governor Codey. I backed you on that whole postpartum depression thing. I think you should've kicked that stupid DJ's ass. And what's my reward? You cut my property tax rebate in half! Good thing you're not running for governor. You lost my vote.

I always said I didn't care how corrupt Jimmy Mac got, as long as he kept buying my vote with that rebate, I would have kept voting for him. I don't care if he's gay. I care that he sent me a lot more $$$ last year. I might've been able to cure my iPod envy AND get that "Star Blazers" set I'm pining for.

Sigh.

Links:
• See if you can find the "Timecop" line I'm quoting
• Rebel against the Procrasti Nation!
• The JAMHL standings; note my Quakes in last
• HorrorTalk, of course
• iPod, by Apple
• Acting Gov. Richard J. Codey of New Jersey
• Former Gov. James E. McGreevey, "a gay American"

As I searched for a McGreevey link, I was reminded of two jokes, both of which I'll put in quotes even though I'm probably merely paraphrasing (sue me, I'm not at work).

One was Jon Stewart's reaction to McGreevey's coming-out catchphrase: "Holy shit! I had no idea he was an American!"

The other is the routine I always attribute to George Carlin, though I worry it was someone else... the one about how people say someone is "openly" gay and "happens to be" black, and how you never hear the reverse.

"No one 'happens to be gay.' No one is 'openly black.' Well, maybe Louis Farrakhan. Colin Powell isn't openly black. Colin Powell is openly white. He happens to be black."

Heard a good joke at work today, too. I'm paraphrasing this one, too.

A little boy writes a letter to God asking for $100, and puts it in the mailbox. The post office, seeing a letter addressed to "God, U.S.A." sends it to the White House and the president. The president reads the letter and is touched by the boy's request. He puts a brand-new $5 bill in the envelope, thinking how such a young child will be impressed by this amount of money, and mails it back.

The boy gets the letter, sees the money, and of course he writes a thank you.

"Dear God, thank you so much for granting my wish for $100. Unfortunately, your letter was routed through Washington, and the bastards took out $95 in tax."

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all life!