Five questions... not Kilborn-style

This interview game's wandering around the 'Net. I got it from Stewie and he got it from somebody else, and so forth.

First, you have to post the rules:

Here are the instructions:

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "Interview me." "Blow me" or "Eat me" are not acceptable substitutes.

2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different. I'll post the questions in the comments section of this post.

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post on your blog.

5. When others comment, asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

And now, here are Stewie's questions for me:

1. If you could have sex with a cartoon character, who would be the lucky girl (or guy)?

I'm thinking Jessica Rabbit. But maybe the chick from "Voltron," Princess Allura.

2. Taking slavery out of the equation, which side of the Civil War would you fight on? Why?

Tough call. The Northerners won, but the Southerners gained immortality. Assuming, like most of the greats, I wouldn't live to see the end of the war, I'm tempted to pick the South, because at least that way, I'd be a dead hero rather than a dead nobody.

But ultimately, I'm a Northerner, so if I really had to choose, I'd clearly fight on the side of my nation and home state (Pennsylvania, which brought you Army of the Potomac commander George Meade, among others), like everybody else.

3. Would you let gramps take photos of you for his personal collection? If not, what if money was involved? How much? (thanks fnord!)

No. Maybe if money were involved. A lot of money. How much depends on how I'd have to pose.

4. If you could ask one author one question, what would it be?

I'd ask William Shakespeare if he really wrote all the plays everyone thinks he wrote.

5. Will you ever write one blog about your ex-fiance' [sic], getting her completely out of your system, so you don't bring her up anymore? :p

No, it's more fun to take potshots at her and complain about her. Especially if it bugs people.

Links:
• For Q1: Princess Allura
• For Q2: A list of Civil War roundtables
• For Q3: How to become a model
• For Q4: An essay on who wrote Shakespeare's plays
• For Q5: A discussion on the de-sexing of nouns, such as fiance and fiancee, because I couldn't find a good link about the resale value of diamonds

If you want to play, follow the rules above.