A few random thoughts

I can't think of anything to write, so I'm just going to share a few strange things I saw today. A magnificent seven, as it were.

1. Somebody on HorrorTalk mentioned some legislators here in New Jersey want to ban smoking in automobiles. My property taxes are through the roof, there's one of the nation's biggest depositories for mercury in my township, they still haven't built the Route 206 bypass, we don't have a real governor, terrorists have plans for Newark buildings, and the most important thing these idiots can think of is that I can't smoke in my car? Then why does it come standard with a cigarette lighter and ashtray, huh? Good thing the sponsor isn't my assemblyman, or I'd be tempted to give him a piece of my mind.

2. Speaking of smoking in your car, what I could see is a rule against flicking your cigarette butts out the window while driving. Am I the only one who's ever wondered what might happen if you drive over a bouncing cig butt and your gas tank is leaking? KABOOM!

3. Some Miami politician committed suicide in the Miami Herald office today. I'm from Pennsylvania, where all political-corruption suicides are measured against Bud Dwyer, who shot himself live on television at a news conference. I'm not that impressed.

4. I saw an article about a missing pregnant black woman in Philadelphia on CNN.com today. It's nice to see something about a missing person who isn't a whitebread suburbanite. USA Today had an article a while back out that whole no-men, no-minorities missing-persons fetish. I hope they find her, too.

5. The expression, "more fun than a barrel of monkeys"... I'm not thinking a barrel of monkeys is fun. Maybe a barrel of dachshunds. Or a barrel of monkeys going over Niagara Falls. But a barrel of monkeys would just be full of screaming primates.

6. I heard a great commercial on the radio today, for some Toyota sedan. It's a guy talking to some rice-boy kids ("yeah, you, the ones with the stupid stickers all over your car and the useless tail fin") about whether or not there's a sticker for their car that says "I just got my BLEEP handed to me by a 38-year-old father of two." Cracked me up. Not quite as much as the life insurance that pays you even if you don't die, but still.

7. Nos. 5 and 6 bring to mind one of the all-time great commercials, the cell phone one where the rancher wants oxen, but he has bad static, and gets dachshunds. "Stampede!"

Links:
• An editorial on the anti-smoking bill, from No. 1 and No. 2
• The CNN.com article on the missing lady, No. 4
• The Barrel of Monkeys game, No. 5, which doesn't look that fun
• The Toyota Avalon, from the commercial in No. 6
• Funny animal commercials, including No. 7

Yes, the Net is full of Bud Dwyer footage, for No. 3. Google it yourself, you sickos!