Thursday, March 30, 2006

The One

Anybody remember a few years back, Jet Li made a movie called "The One"?

It basically posited that there are a certain number of parallel universes, and you exist in each one - and the key to immortality or superpower or something, was to kill all the other "you"s because as each one dies, his "power" is divided among the remaining persons.

So in the movie, of course, there's one Jet Li who's been killing all the others, and it's up to the last one to stop him before he becomes all-powerful.

Anyway, for some reason, just for kicks, I Googled myself tonight.

And I discovered that, contrary to what you might expect, my name is fairly common. First and last, combined. In quotes.

I don't show up on the search until Page 3, courtesy of an article about being Vietnamese I wrote for an old paper that went out on a wire service, got picked up by another paper, and subsequently picked up by a Web site for Vietnam vets. Gotta love the Internet.

(That posting, by the way, is how I met my friend Kimmy, who saw it and called me for research SHE was doing.)

But here are some of the things my parallel universe "me"s do, in roughly the order they come up on a Google search:

• Biology professor and author, Boston College
• Hand doctor (in New Jersey, no less!)
• Sculptor
• Movie producer (what are the odds of that?)
• "Dr. Fate" (yes, the comic book character...)
• Video-game programmer
• College student, University of Minnesota
• Film student, Brandeis (he should meet that movie producer)
• High-school baseball player, Long Island (a pitcher, whereas I'm a second baseman)
• Urban planning professor, University of Kansas or possibly Michigan State (not the other professor)
• Musician
• Entrepreneur and consultant (juice bars, entrepreneurial consulting, that kind of thing)
• Actor and costume designer (um, yeah, hook him up with the other ones)
• Telecommunications executive (chief executive, no less)
• Firefighter
• Resident assistant and journalism student, Georgetown (what are the odds of that major, too?)
• Survey distributor, University of Montana
• Attorney (this one I knew about; I lived in the same area and kept hoping for a wrong number so I could dispense some free legal advice)
• College/high-school liaison, Brooklyn
• And, in an ironic twist given my social life, founder of a dating service (I shit you not)

Personally, my favorite alternate reality would probably be Dr. Fate, but maybe if Match doesn't work out, will give me a free listing on account of the coincidence.


Stewie said...

I'm an open wheel race car driver in my alternate universe.

Keith Thurman said...

The One comes in with a HUGE bang, but blows its load early. And while you’re off ready for the big climax, Jet Li is already in the kitchen making a sandwich and smoking a cigarette.