So that's why they call them the "Astros"

Couldn't Houston have just called this a "lower-body injury"?

Kazuo Matsui could miss the first two weeks of the season while he recovers from a surgical procedure to repair an anal fissure. The second baseman was officially placed on the disabled list Tuesday, retroactive to March 21.

(The bold emphasis is mine.)

I always associate the term with this early Internet saga, but it's actually a real medical condition. And a painful-sounding one, at that.

Get well soon, Kaz. For all our sakes'.