Stalling for time

I'm blatantly stealing this from Jewels, while I stall for time on three different posts: a wedding post, a monkey post and the promised birthday post.

Yeah, I'm battling the insomnia. Fortunately, the headaches went away. Just in time to hit the doctor's office.

At least I got my taxes done.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My great-grandfathers, Eric for Eleazar (who, it turns out, was apparently really named Leazar) and Martin for Maxwell.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
The other day. Thanks, headache.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
No. Though I think most people who see it think it's adequate for the job.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAT?
All of the above.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Not yet.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Maybe. On one hand, I'm kinda freakin' cool. On the other hand, I'm kinda an asshole.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
"No," he says drolly.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE TONSILS
Yup. No wisdom teeth. Insert own joke here.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Nope. Afraid of heights. Or, more specifically, falling from same. Or, even more specifically, landing with a squish after falling from same.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CEREAL?
Special K. Don't freakin' laugh.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM Off?
No.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Strong enough. Depending on the circumstances.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM?
Coffee Heath Bar Crunch. First among many.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
I'm not really that observant, especially for a journalist. So I'm going with either weaponry, or boobs.

15. RED OR PINK?
Red. The blood of angry men.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Right now, I'm going with the 20 spare pounds hanging over my most favorite thing about myself.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST
Let me put it this way: I'll feel a twinge of jealousy when Marisa's grandmother and Nana walk down the aisle in the procession.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
Nah. Send it to Jewels. This was her fault, anyway. Plus, her darling daughter's sick, so she might need the entertainment.

19. WHAT COLOUR PANTS AND SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Grey shirt. And, actually, I can finally, truthfully, publicly say... I'm not wearing any pants.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Tiramisu.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
I think it's the heat coming through the baseboard system. Or Norton the Dog snoring.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Purple!

23. FAVOURITE SMELLS?
Fresh baking bread. Good food. Marisa's hair.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
I'm going with the Jack Adams commissioner. But I'm not really sure.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Sure. Otherwise I wouldn't buy her jewelry.

26. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Hockey. Baseball. Football. Women's tennis. Soccer. Probably in that order. Unless the Raiders are playing.

27. HAIR COLOUR ?
Black. With a couple of gray hairs, which I name after their cause. (This one's Norton, after the dog; that one's Kevin, my buddy and new boss...)

28. EYE COLOUR?
Brown. Slightly bloodshot.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Only when playing sports.

30. Your favorite food?
Pizza. Then Buffalo wings. Then cheesesteaks. Then M's cooking, and my Mom's. The rest is negotiable.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Duh...

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
"Highwaymen"via Netflix.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Of the two, winter. But I like fall best. Hockey's starting, football's in full swing, the pennant races are on. Plus the leaves are pretty and it's not too hot or too cold.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Depends who's giving.

36. FAVOURITE DESSERT?
Hot fudge sundaes. Hold the nuts, unless they're peanuts.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Marisa.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND ?
Stewie, unless he does it just to show me up.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Just finished "The GM: The Inside Story of a Dream Job and the Nightmares that Go with It"and"King of Russia: A Year in the Russian Super League,"plus the latest trade PB of "Powers." About to re-read Matthew Reilly's "7 Deadly Wonders" in order to start the sequel, "The 6 Sacred Stones."

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
It's a laptop. No mouse.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T. V. LAST NIGHT?
The season finale of "American Gladiators."

42. FAVOURITE SOUND
That nighttime quiet when we're nestled in bed. Not quite quiet. But so nicely silent. You know what I mean.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Of the two, the Stones. M would pick the Beatles, no doubt. I'm indifferent, really.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Saigon, Vietnam.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Maybe. Maybe not.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Saigon, Vietnam.

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
M's, I guess. Maybe Jin's.

We named the monkey "George"...

One of Marisa's students apparently got George Clooney and George Washington confused the other day.

Hey, he's 7.

But imagine the possibilities. A powdered-wig mullet on "Facts of Life."

And the movies...

• "O Founding Father, Where Art Thou?"
• "Batman & No Taxation Without Representation"

And of course...

• "Revolution's Eleven"

He might also have confused George Bush and George Washington.

I'll let you make your own joke there.

Random fact of the day

If I'm reading this right...

A decade ago, a Consumer Product Safety Commission report tracked vending machine deaths from 1977 till 1995, thirty seven Americans were killed when they got overly aggressive, toppling a vending machine to get a reluctant quarter or cola – an average of about two per year, or twice the number killed by sharks in the US. Just when you thought it was safe to get a Dr. Pepper...

Twice as many people get killed yearly by vending machines as by sharks. Zoinks!

Revolution calling who?

Every day on my way to work, I drive past a couple of big banners for the "Ron Paul Revolution."

And just about everywhere I go, I see signs for the Republican presidential candidate. I mean, I drove past an intersection the other day that had about six of them.

Does the same guy put them all up?

Because, certainly, nobody's voting for the Texas Congressman.

He needs something like 1,900 delegates to win the nomination. Figure the front-runner, John McCain, has something like 800-plus out of 1,300-plus pledged so far.

Ron Paul has 16:

• 5 from North Dakota
• 5 from Alaska
• 4 from Nevada
• 2 from Iowa

This is a guy who once raised 4 million bucks in 24 hours.

Again, was this all from one guy? Or did 400,000 people forget to vote?

Oh, well, at least he's still got this guy in his corner.

Dude, you might as well get your signs from those Jersey overpasses.

Editor's note: Today's my birthday! At least for the next four minutes. Watch ffor a big ol' birthday post later this week!

Heaven's gonna need a bigger boat

Roy Scheider, who uttered one of the greatest lines in the history of movies, in one of the movies that scared me most of all, "Jaws,"has died at 75.

That line, of course, at first sight of the titular shark, was...

You're gonna need a bigger boat.

Rest in peace, and swim in safety, Sheriff Brody.

Those are my people...

This was the description on a Wall Street Journal story.

According to the Chinese calendar, the Year of the Rat begins tomorrow. But in Vietnam it may have started sooner: Unexpected changes in the country's food chain and diet have sparked a rodent-eating bonanza.

Needless to say, I really didn't need to read the rest to have my Ling-Ling Moment of the Day*.

* Defined previously as:

(A) Ling-Ling moment is my new way of describing when something so ridiculously stereotypically Asian happens that I just have to cringe for my heritage.

Die, you pond scum!

That would be a quote from "Dave,"one of my favorite comedies.



Tonight, let's apply it to the New England Patriots, whose undefeated season went bye-bye on the grandest stage of all:

Super Bowl XLII

So, go skip, Tom Brady, you smirking jerk!

Go jump in a lake, Randy Moss, you egocentric dog!

And hey, congratulations, New York Giants, including a couple of my favorite ex-Raiders, Kevin Boothe and Dave Tollefson, and all my Giants-fans friends.

It was nice to get home from our anniversary dinner in time to see one of the greatest upsets ever and one of the greatest Super Bowls ever.

Even if I suspect Marisa preferred watching "Puppy Bowl IV."

By the way, this is how I wrapped up my Super Bowl story in the paper:

Sure, it's an ugly matchup if you let the computer call it, but when real people are involved, the PS3 says the Giants have a prayer. Let's just hope Eli Manning makes better reads than a nearsighted ex-Division 3 intramural quarterback.

And there, in the Red Zone in the final minute, was Eli Manning, throwing the game-winning touchdown. Finding the open man I couldn't in my "Madden" sim.

Time flies when you're having fun!

A year ago today, February 3, I went on a date.

It was, it would turn out, to be my last Match.com date.

A lot can change in a year.

• I got promoted.

• I sold a house.

• I bought another one.

But mostly, I fell in love with the girl I went on that date with.

• We got engaged.

• And we started planning our wedding.

It hasn't always been easy. But it's been the best year of my life.

She's not perfect. Neither am I. But we're perfect for each other. And that girl, who introduced me to Ethiopian food on that first date, has never ceased to dazzle me with her stories, her knowledge, her infectious enthusiasm, and above all, her positive outlook on life.

No, above all, her love. For me. For her students. For her family and friends. For just about everyone. But second to that, her positive outlook on life.

She brings out the best in me. She makes me a better person just by being around her.

She loves me. She loves me when I'm serious. When I'm silly. When I'm upset. When I'm brave.

She tells me how good I am for her. She tells me how good I am. Even when I don't believe it.

She is, as one of my friends said, the silver lining to my black cloud.

My life has changed in a year. And each one of those 365 days was better than the one before.

A year ago, I might've figured myself for the luckiest guy on the face of the Earth. There was been a lot of good fortune in the first 32 years of my life.

But today, a year after that date, nine days shy of my 33rd birthday, I know I am.

It's been a good year. Here's hoping for many more with my love.

We'll get married. Build our home. Raise our family. Share our love. Spend our time together. Travel. Read. Watch movies. Sleep in each other's arms. Love.

I'm greedy. And I can dream. I've dreamed a year, and I never want it to end.