A tag before the 11th hour

I've been tagged.

To quote my tagger, Ms. jin:

As always, I can't simply copy. I must put my own spin on it. I encourage those I tag at the end to do the same.

It started as "5 famous people you're allowed to sleep with."

Jin made it "5 famous Peeps and the Pastries I'd eat off of with them."

As I am a) getting married in a week; and b) a straight guy (the ladies focused on the studs, eh?), I'm going to put an even different spin on it.

"5 famous people I'd have as groomsmen"

(And unlike my real groomspeople, whom I love dearly, there are no women in this group, because let's face it, I can't be marrying my beloved while pondering Jessica Biel in a black dress.)


Ben Affleck, the movie star who has made some of the best cheesy action films despite some of the least talent in the world. Not since Ron Popeil has a man achieved so much primarily on the strength of good hair. Why him? Because he's just that damn smooth.


Michael Biehn, the baddest man on the planet and famed action star. Besides, it's the only way I'll see him in August, since I'm missing his appearance at Horrorfind. Why him? Didn't I just say he's the baddest man on the planet?


Harrison Ford, the legend, and my favorite actor of all time. Why him? Because he's Han Solo and Indiana Jones, for crying out loud!


Barry Melrose, the new coach of the Tampa Bay Lightning, the former coach of the Los Angeles Kings (where, in one of my favorite all time media guide covers, he posed with GM Nick Beverly at the corner of... Melrose Avenue and Beverly Drive) and one of the great hockey analysts. Why him? Well, he gives about a quarter of my guests someone to talk hockey with. Plus, he has a mullet.


Jim Plunkett (on the right), the two-time Super Bowl champion and my all-time favorite member of the Oakland/Los Angeles Raiders. Why him? Because he's famous. Because he's my favorite Raider. Because he owns a beer distributorship.

So, there you have it. Five famous folks I'd love to have grace my wedding, even if I've already spent way too much on it, and they're like $70 a plate.

Anyway, speaking of weddings, I'm too darn busy to chase anyone down and tag. So if you're marrying me, in my wedding, coming to my wedding, can't get enough of reading about my wedding or are sick and darn tired of hearing about my wedding, consider yourself tagged. I have a gift bag to stuff, or something.

By the way, anyone notice I found pictures of all five of my guys in suits?

Well, Miss Biel cleans up pretty nice, too: