An open letter to...

... The folks sitting at my table at a recent wedding I attended...

I've got to hand it to you: I have never seen anyone ask for a doggie bag at a wedding before.

Much less one for each course.

Much less tell the waiters the people who'd left the wedding were still there, so you could wrap up their desserts.

I should've taken a picture. Then I could've put it in the dictionary under "tacky."

Let me repeat, for those whose jaws are slacked in disbelief (much like mine at the wedding):

• They got a box for their appetizers they didn't finish.

• They got a box for their main courses, too.

• They tossed in their desserts.

• Then lied, so more desserts would be brought to the table.

• Then tossed them into the boxes, too.

Well-dressed, slightly wrong side of middle-aged people.

Yeah, we on the other side of the table, we were snickering at you.

Although I'll say this: At my wedding, since we're picking up the tab, for the love of munkee, if you don't finish your food, get it boxed and take it home. Every crumb. To paraphrase the words of Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, "We're paying for it. You eat it!"