Thursday, July 06, 2006

What if God was one of us? Yeah, right

God is watching us.

You want proof? Look no further than Colorado, where disgraced ex-Enron boss Ken Lay dropped dead yesterday at his vacation home. Massive coronary, not even 65.

Yeah, guess we don't have to wait for the judge-with-a-little-j to sentence him, the Judge-with-a-big-J did the trick.

("Hey, Pete, I'll bet I can hit that guy from over here!" Zap! Lightning bolt!)

For you unbelievers, I offer as evidence this:

Remember when Opie & Anthony got thrown off the radio for enticing two listeners to have sex on the air... in a church?

The couple got caught, and got charged. And before the guy (half) had his day in court...

That's right.

He dropped dead. Not even 40, if memory serves. Bam. Heart attack.

Just like Ken Lay.

Hmm. This dude ruined thousands of people's lives at Enron, cost thousands their jobs, cost thousands their life savings, and he had the gall to await sentencing in his VACATION HOME???

Yeah, that'd be the proverbial one-way express elevator to hell... going down!

I'm not a religious man. But I do believe. And yes, sometimes I wonder where God is, when children die, when tragedies take place, when justice doesn't prevail.

And then, sometimes, the Good Lord gets Old Testament on somebody and I think, boy, I'd better stay on His good side. As the comedian Lewis Black points out, that Old Testament God is a prick. (Unlike the mellow New Testament God, Who he suggests maybe relaxed a little after the birth of his son.)

Oh, yeah, I definitely believe in that higher power. I'm not saying I'll become a Republican or join the Religious Right or anything. Or even give up my Saturday morning I'm-not-in-temple nap.

Now if Jeff Skilling keels over, too, then maybe...

Ken Lay, losing the big appeal
Coronary artery disease, avenger of Enron 401(k)s
Enron, in case you've forgotten
And speaking of people who believe in the End of Days, Dubya and Kenny Boy
Finally, a bit of Bible quoting: Vengeance is whose?

And now for something completely different... allow me to direct you to The Lesley's latest blog, which is mostly about sappy Real love, but also features a knitted sock-monkey hat.


Real said...

And what is wrong with sappy Real romance? ;)

Freak Magnet said...

I know it's not right to wish someone dead, but that's awesome.