And you thought you were the only one!

Somedays, I think I can count the number of people who read this blog on one hand. Not that there's anything wrong with a single one of my "regular" readers - in fact, they're all pretty excellent people - and many fine bloggers in their own right.

But as a writer, I guess I harbor a secret, hidden desire for a larger audience. Who doesn't think of Wonkette, for instance, and say... "Now THAT is a major-league blogger!"

My own father reads Wonkette more often than he reads this, I suspect.

But every once in a while, someone randomly stumbles across the blog and joins in the fun, and that always warms my heart. The Patron Saint of Smart Mouths, for instance. Imagine, a religious icon, here!

And then, once in a while - or in this case, once - there's a real jaw-dropper.

Like when Stewie happened to be checking the e-mail for our Web site, DonkeyHat, which is probably the fourth-string e-mail for both of us (the Bret Engemann of e-mail, as it were...), and he called my attention to the first and only e-mail I've gotten at DonkeyHat.

And the first and only blog-related e-mail I've gotten from a complete stranger.

You know who it was from? An executive at Barber Foods!

They somehow found my first post about their delightful Chicken Cordon Bleu (and before my recent mention-in-passing of their tasty frozen yumminess).

And they agreed with me - that coupons are in order! OK, I wrote back a month after they wrote, but hey, they wrote nine months after I posted, so I'll be watching the mail!

That's right. I'll endorse your product, right here on this blog, in exchange for money and/or coupons! I've embraced my adopted homeland and the capitalism it stands for with open arms.

And in celebration of attracting my first bit of corporate attention, I'm posting my first-ever blog pic!



That's right: Mookie J. Monkey and I are ready and waiting to endorse your product!

This message brought to you by Barber Foods' Chicken Cordon Bleu, now available in convenient family six-packs! Chicken, ham and a tasty blend of cheeses for the whole family!

(Oh, and companies: I've added an e-mail to my profile. That way, you won't have to wait for me to meander through three other e-mail addresses. Mookie's ready and waiting! No vegetables, please.)

Links:
• Bret Engemann, ex-Raider, and his adventures in Europe
• The lighter side of endorsements
• And the darker side

I was thinking that now that I've learned to post pictures, I could participate in Half-Nekkid Thursday, but I'm thinking I don't need to see that, and neither do y'all.

But there may yet be more pictures. If, now that I have my Foley-Belsaw Institute Model 200 Key Machine - a crucial tool for a growing field! - I can hang on to all 10 fingers. I cut my first key by code today - yes, it opened the lock! - and I've still got 'em, so so-far-so-good, eh? Almost done with the basic course! I'd finish tonight, but the damn machine's so loud I'm afraid I'll wake the neighbors.

Random Super Bowl prediction: I want the Steelers to win, but I think the Seahawks will. Seattle, 27-21. (And no, since the Raiders aren't in it, I don't really care - I'm basically going to enjoy the party I'm going to, and hope for a good game.)

I can't really lose as far as allegiance, though: I'm rooting for Pittsburgh, because I went to school out there and I admire the Yinzers' spirit (and it would be tough to root for an old AFC West foe in the Hawks), but Seattle quarterback Matt Hasselbeck (my prediction for MVP) is the son of ex-Raider tight end Don Hasselbeck, part of the Raiders' Super Bowl XVIII championship team.

Random Hasselbeck trivia: Don Hasselbeck, who blocked an XP in that Super Bowl, had two sons, Matt and Tim, who both went to Boston College to play quarterback and wound up in the NFL. And while Matt is getting all the attention this week at the Super Bowl, Tim may be less famous than his wife, Elisabeth, that crazy lil' conservative from "The View" and a former "Survivor" sweetheart.

(Yes, I've seen "The View." It's usually on at the car dealership when I take my baby in for service in the late morning. That's better than when the male equivalent was on - that was even creepier.)