Have your science and eat it, too

I've been following with a mixture of interest and horror - depending on the day - the news about a trial in Pennsylvania over intelligent design in schools.

It's the one where the religious people on the school board in Dover mandated the teaching, the voters of the district voted them all out of office, and then the district wound up in court while the new board tried to figure things out.

So the other day, a judge ruled that indeed, this was a violation of separation of church and state - and the religious people called him an activist judge, just as he anticipated, even though he is a church-going Bush appointee.

Pondering all this, I've come up with a conclusion and placed it before the ruling council of the Church of the Holy (in Memoriam, for Eternity) Dachshund.

(The Church of the (Late, and Lamented) Holy Dachshund is, of course, my effort to get a tax break as a religious organization. Donations can be sent via Paypal to the e-mail affiliated with this site. This is, of course, the unofficial-but-endorsed church bulletin.)

Back on topic, here's a way I think the fundies and the fishies can have their science and eat it, too:

Why don't we just agree that people evolved from monkeys, which God created in His image?

After all, who but a higher power could have designed the prehensile tail, perhaps the ultimate in appendage, or at least a close second among male members of the species? And how but evolution could mere mortals hope to explain the opposable thumb, which most monkeys regrettably lack but we have?

And on this blog, at least, the divine nature of the munkee remains unquestioned.

Thus:

God, a munkee, makes monkeys in his image.
Monkeys evolve into humans.
Humans visit zoos to see monkeys because they are the image of God.

And everyone is happy!

Or at least, we at the Church of the (Enshrined in Pennsylvania) Holy Dachshund are. I think we may adopt this as our formal stance on creation vs. evolution at the next Holy Dee. (Like the Holy See, but D is for Dachshund.)

Sometimes, I'm a common-sense conservative. Sometimes, I'm a hedonistic liberal. But mostly, I just want to be a silly little happymunkee. Take that, you crazy Intelligent Design people!

Links:
• The Scopes monkey trial
• The Dover Area School District
• The latest on Dover, via CNN

If I don't post at y'all before then, have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or whatever it is y'all celebrate (Kwanzaa, Festivus, etc.).

And in case I don't get to it before then... have a Happy New Year, too!