Why put crap in water?

Yes, I drink bottled water. I know, Evian spelled backwards is "naive," but the water fountains at the office are the suck.

And let's be honest, while the caffeine in Coca-Cola is a big thumbs-up, the sugar ain't so good for the Monkey Waistline Tracker, if you know what I mean.

(I don't do diet soda. For one thing, artificial sweeteners taste awful. For another thing, they do funky things to my stomach. Not quite what they do to some people, but unpleasant nonetheless.)

Anyway, that leaves me with coffee and water as my beverages of choice at work.

The other day, though, the awesome robotic vending machine ran out of good old-fashioned water.

And I was stuck with "lemon water" (see above).

Let's make something clear: I don't particularly care for lemon in my water. Conveniently, Marisa loves lemon in her water, so at most restaurants, I can just take my little lemon wedge out and drop it in her glass.

(Oddly enough, I like lemonade.)

But it's one thing to have a bit of lemon juice in one's water, diffusing.

It's another to have lemon-flavored water.

And let me tell you, it tasted awful.

Do people find plain old refreshing water that bad we need to add crap to it to give it taste? It's water, for crying out loud. It's not supposed to taste like anything!

Want to bet the idiots who oppose putting fluoride in water probably don't hesitate to drink this garbage, either?

Either way, it's the last time I stare into the vending machine and say, "Eh, it's just lemon. How bad can it be?"

Blecch.

Monkey Monday Redux!

Here's another quick little monkey food item - only this time, the monkeys aren't the food, the food is for the monkeys.

Monkeys enjoy fruits and vegetables during the annual Monkey Buffet Festival, in front of Pra Prang Sam Yot temple in Lopburi province, 150 km (94 miles) north of Bangkok, Nov. 25, 2007. The annual festival provides various types of food and drink to the local monkey population, which numbers more than 2,000.

Spotted first on CNN.com.

Monkey Monday II!

I'm not sure I'm getting into this Daily Monkey thing, but I do love me my monkey news! So here is today's story, courtesy of the AP via CNN...

NEW YORK -- Think you're smarter than a fifth-grader? How about a 5-year-old chimp? Japanese researchers pitted young chimps against human adults in tests of short-term memory, and overall, the chimps won.

That challenges the belief of many people, including many scientists, that "humans are superior to chimpanzees in all cognitive functions," said researcher Tetsuro Matsuzawa of Kyoto University.

Watch for a non-monkey post soon. If we're both lucky!